New Mexican Adventures
I am having an amazing time in New Mexico. Yesterday Liz and I climbed on top of this ridge of rocks near Galisteo, from which you had a 360 degree view. We were in the middle of nowhere, and the clouds were amazing. At some point they got really dark on one side, and there was thunder and lightning, and you could see rain in the distance. Liz climbed down from the rocks after a while and went for a long walk away from the ridge, but I stayed on top. For a long time I saw Liz as this tiny black dot in the fields, and she saw me as a tiny black dot on top of the rocks. I had never been this far away from somebody, yet felt so close and connected. I screamed in all directions on top of the rocks. We saw a rainbow, and we both watched the sun set from our respective little black dots in the scenery.
Today we went to some hot springs in the gorge of the Rio Grande. On the way there we saw earthships and other interesting houses. There was a long hike down to the hot springs. They were right on the river. First we floated around in a lukewarm pool and then in a warmer one. When we started to feel like prunes, we considered getting out and air-drying. We had forgotten to bring towels. The wind was chilly though, so we were afraid to get out. When we did, we dried ourselves off a little with my hoodie. I was about to put on all my clothes to get warmer when I noticed that it was only chilly when you were wet. Once we were dry, it was actually really nice to be in the sun naked. We walked along the little beach of the river, hopped around on the black rocks with bare feet and did some naked yoga. At one point I found a big slanted rock in the river, and I let myself hang off of it slightly upside down. It was a really nice stretch. The hike back up was a really nice exercise.
I love being in New Mexico.
|
.: posted by Vera 
|
|
A Very Caged Burning Man 2009 - Part II
[Part I, in case you missed it.]
On Wednesday Kean and I decided to have separate adventures. I had mixed feelings about this. I was sure it was good and healthy to have some time apart. I was looking forward to not have to think about anybody's desires but my own all day. But I also remembered the natural inseparability from last year, which was nice as well.
I wore my innertube collar top with nothing underneath. Kean and I had breakfast in our neighbor Whatever's shade and met some of his friends. I took a poll and asked everyone if I should have bare nipples or x's made out of electrical tape on them. Kean was convinced that everyone was going to vote for bare nipples, but it was unanimous: They liked the x's. I asked our neighbor Whatever to decorate the rest of my body with black electrical tape as well. He put some rings on my arms and legs and some strips on my belly and lower back.
After that Kean and I went our separate ways until dinner. I rode along the Esplanade and found a massage tent. Two older men were massaging one woman. I sat down on a chair because I wanted to be next. After a while, one of the men acknowledged me. I found out his name was Pope Dirty Bastard. We hugged, and he said "You are very nice to hung," and I said "So are you," and it was true. He told me that he was just giving somebody a massage lesson, that he was on break right now and not going to be open for another hour. He touched my dusty hair and said "What can we do for you, maybe a little hair wash?" I said "Yes, that would be lovely." We chatted for a little bit longer. I told him that I was feeling a little sad about being apart from my boyfriend for the day. He said that it was a good thing to separate for a bit because there are some things you can only experience alone. I thought about how I was having a lovely conversation with a nice man, which would not have been the same, had Kean been there. After that I didn't feel sad for the rest of the day. I think I just needed a little push to see the connection in disconnection.
Since Pope Dirty Bastard was still on break, I went over to Ocean's Serene because they were doing hand pamperings that day. My friend Icka poured water over my hands, washed them and then put lotion on them. It was delightful. She asked me to wait a little while she washed several other people's hands, and then she gave me a little hand massage. Ahhhh. She also took some photos of me.
I noticed that the Weenie Roast was across the street from Ocean's Serene. Last year, eating a wet hot dog had been one of my favorite moments of the week, but this year, Kean and I were much more strictly vegetarian. I asked about the Weenie Roast and was told that they had been serving veggie dogs on Tuesday. I couldn't wait to tell Kean.
After getting pampered by Icka, I went back to get pampered by Pope Dirty Bastard. It hadn't been an hour yet, and he was still on break. We chatted, and he kept turning other people away who wanted massages or hair washes. But he never sent me away again. I was starting to feel very lucky. I got to meet one of his friends, who must have been at least 70. Pope Dirty Bastard was 62. I accompanied them to their camp across the street for a moment, and then Pope Dirty Bastard was ready to wash my hair, even though he was still on break.
He had me lie on a massage table with my head hanging off the end. I told him that this reminded me of when I was 5 and in the hospital with temporary Radiculitis*. My whole body was paralyzed at the time, and when the nurses washed my hair, they would let my head hang off of the side of the bed. This had completely terrified me because, due to my inability to use my muscles to hold myself up, I was afraid of falling of the bed. I was feeling glad that I was feeling much safer now and more trusting of myself and the people around me.
After putting water through my hair, which felt amazing, Pope Dirty Bastard said "Now Vera, you have a very important decision to make." "Okay," I said. He said "Do you want strawberry shampoo or mango shampoo or kiwi limi shampoo?" I laughed and said "Kiwi lime, please." I knew that lime can act as a stabilizer for the alkalinity of the playa dust.
I gave Pope Dirty Bastard another big hug, feeling thankful that I had been special enough for him to pause his break, and then, with my hair dripping wet and fresh, I went to have cold beet soup at a camp full of strangers. Then I decided to go look up some friends. This was somewhat unsuccessful, but I did succeed in finding Dustin at his camp. I got to bathe my feet in some ice water and use his eyeliner. Mmmmm, eyeliner, I had missed that. Then I dragged him out to go see another person on my list who was relatively hard to find (a multi-step process) and who was lying down to take a nap. I wanted to get into bed with him but that would have to wait.
Dustin and I parted ways because he had to get ready for a wedding, and I wanted to attend a session called Healing the Past at Hee Bee Gee Bee. The speaker said every time we react to something more strongly than the current situation warrants, we are probably being triggered by something that happened in the past. He said when that happens, it helps to juxtapose the two situations and tell yourself "THAT is what happened then. THIS is what is happening now." I had heard most of this before but it's always good to hear it again. I thought about how my feeling panicky about being apart from Kean was probably really just a reaction to some abandonment that happened in the past. I reminded myself that I am not being abandoned in the present.
At one point I let my eyes wander around the room, and guess who I spotted across the way? Kean. I got up, walked around the dome to where he was sitting and wrapped my legs around him from behind. I felt happy and reassured by life.
After the healing session, it was Kean's and my turn to cook dinner for our camp. We made spinach pasta with Arrabbiata sauce and vegan sausage. While we were cooking, my dear friend Bret showed up, and we fed him in addition to our campmates. We got surprisingly positive feedback from our campmates even though they were all meat eaters. There were a lot of leftovers, and we gave some to Whatever and his friend Green Forest Monkey. They were extremely thankful for the food, and it felt so good to be able to share.
Kean and I decided to have separate adventures for the rest of the night as well. I took my 9 to midnight nap again, and then I went to see the sleepy boy from earlier. It was 1:11 when we took off on our bikes. We caught the tail end of a party--literally walked in when the last track was turned off--and then rode over to the Bush for some drum&bass. We pretty much just sat around and chatted and drank some wine. I was happy that they played two different remixes of Just one Second by London Elektricity, a track that my friend Shu had introduced me to a couple of months ago. Oh, and there were pee breaks. We danced for a little bit right before that party was shut down too. It was perfect timing, really.
Then we went to the Temple, where we each ran into some people we knew. We didn't go up to the very top because there was a line. Then we walked through the Labyrinth. Then he felt like the hugely loud Root Society dome was fucking with him, and since the big sound domes generally repel me and I was up for challenging myself, we had to go there. The music wasn't good, but they had beds. Yum.
Riding along the Esplanade, we stopped at the House of True Mirrors, which had been calling me ever since I had first seen it on Sunday, and we also took a ride in the Prometheatrics shaky cube. We wanted to go in there together, but apparently they only allow that once a day, so we had to go in there one at a time. I had to take off at least seven pieces of my outfit because any plastic or metal can scratch the mirrors. It was a very psychedelic, strobe-y, reality-distorting and giggle-inducing ride. And I loved the cube shaker guy, Michael; he dedicated himself so faithfully to the shaking of the cube.
Soon after that I had to head home because Kean and I had agreed to both be back by sunrise. He was already there when I got there. I molested and mounted him, and then we slept. I felt very satisfied about our day apart.
On Thursday morning I woke up not feeling all that well physically. I thought that perhaps I was hung over. I had had some wine the night before after not having had any alcohol for over two months. I went to Center Camp for a mocha. A girl I knew was working there. When I got almost to the end of my line, she waved me over to her line. She said to the people next in line, "She gets to go first because she has style, knows how to dance, and is pretty." She also gave me the mocha for free, so I gave her a $5 tip.
I always run into people I know at Center Camp, and next it was Isaac and Shanti. Shanti gave me a really long hug that seemed to cure whatever ickiness I had felt earlier. After that I felt rejuvenated and radiant. Then I ran into my ex-roommate Joe and two of his guy friends. I told him that this year I had finally started leaving notes on vans during the months leading up to Burning Man, saying that I like their vehicle and would like to take it to Burning Man and that I'm offering $500. Joe was surprised that I put the amount on the note. I said, "Yeah, well, I just don't like to fuck around anymore." Joe loved that and said that I should teach a workshop titled "How to not fuck around anymore." Joe always seems to think that I have a lot of wisdom to offer others; it makes me feel very appreciated. He then asked me to "teach" him and his friends about open relationships. I told them that one thing I had discovered recently is that cheating can still exist in open relationships. It's whenever one person does something that not both people agree with. I said that whatever happens in the relationship, both people have to consent to; or trust is broken. So the big difference to monogamy is that the rules and boundaries are flexible and can be moved around at any time, as long as both parties agree. Joe also made me laugh, as he is wont to do, when he referred to making out as "business time."
I hurried home because it was time to put Kean in the cage and drag him around all afternoon. I took him to the Weenie Roast to feed him. Unfortunately they didn't have any veggie dogs that day. I decided to eat one anyway, and the creature just wanted a bun. It was fun feeding it to him while lots of people watched.
On the way to the Esplanade, some people yelled "Can we feed him something?"
I said "It depends."
"Does he want a carrot?"
I said "He would LOVE a carrot." Unfortunately all they ended up feeding him was pear jelly beans.
We found the merry-go-round again, and this time we played on it for a long time, letting various limbs hang off and fly free. We also ended up back at Mystical Misfits and both played on their long rope swing. I felt like somehow the wrong of Tuesday night had now been righted.
I was really thirsty from dragging Kean around all day and wanted some lemonade. Luckily Deviant Playground was close by, and they were serving Orangeade. It was extremely refreshing. We played on their seasaw and used the photoboof. Then we tried to find Siri at Dustin's camp but Dustin told us that she was off exploring. Instead we ended up at a solar-powered UFO that was serving chainsaw margaritas. They were using a chainsaw motor to mix the margaritas. The creature and I each had one. They also insisted on running one out to a skydiver who had just landed nearby. This amused me.
Finally we ended up at the rocketship. We were out of water, and I was feeling exhausted and dehydrated, so I stayed downstairs in the shade while Kean stood in line in the sun. Somebody asked me to be the model in his rocketship photoshoot, and I tiredly obliged. The pictures actually turned out pretty nice; I hope I get to see them someday. When Kean got to the end of the line, Shaina who was the line moderator and is also a friend of mine, let me jump the line and go up as well. Score! Unfortunately I was too exhausted to really enjoy then inside of the rocketship, but Kean did.
After that we finally went back to camp. I was ready to not have to pull the cage anymore, even if it had been a fun day. We played in the dungeon for a little, but I was feeling uninspired, both as the giver and as the receiver, probably due to exhaustion.
I didn't take a nap that night because Kean was planning on playing at Arachnophobia at 8 that night, and we were expecting friends. Before heading over there, Kean took my bike to the potties. When he tried to switch gears, the whole gear guide got stuck in the spokes. Kean came back and said that my bike was broken, and that he couldn't fix it now, if ever, because he had to go play at Arachnophobia. I had a really hard time staying calm. I was getting triggered by the past: My bike had gotten stolen in 2006, and I had perceived being bikeless as one of the worst things that can happen to you at Burning Man. So I said maniacally "Please don't tell me that you just broke. my fucking. bike." I said "I need my bike." Kean got out his head lamp and started trying to fix it, and it was easier than he thought. Within 15 minutes or so I was able to ride it again. I was really relieved and thankful, but also felt bad for having overreacted. I apologized, and Kean said my upset was understandable, but it still took me a couple of hours to recover from that icky feeling.
Kean went to Arachnophobia, and I followed a little later. But apparently there was a day mix-up, and he wasn't expected until Friday night. Our friend Taloch was there, ready to see Kean spin. She was really exuberant and in a great mood, and unfortunately I couldn't match her. I was feeling mopey. I did enjoy drinking bubble tea though and having our picture taken.
We went to visit Sasha at his camp and stuffed ourselves with tabbouleh. Then we stumbled upon a drum circle, which was very lucky because Kean had been wanting to find a drum circle all week. We each found a drum and participated. I felt alive again after the bike incident. We went to the Bush, and I started feeling even more alive. The mushroom goddess showed up, and I started dancing with really big movements and wide limbs. My hoodie scarf was blowing in the wind. It reminded me of 2004, my first year at Burning Man. Somehow I only dance with these big movements at Burning Man, probably because there is so much space.
After dancing, we kept moving, made big circles around the big dance domes at Kean's request and ended up in the primordial soup again. We had been in there a few days earlier. Kean really wanted to have a discussion about where we are going as a species, and we found some people who were willing. I was wearing a corset, which felt good and bad at the same time. Running my hands over my corset felt really good and made me wonder what it would be like to not have a beautiful body. I felt thankful for knowing what it's like to have a beautiful body, especially since I didn't always have this knowledge.
We ended up at a mini golf course. I just sat there while Kean played. The music was nice and dubsteppy, and I enjoyed watching Kean dance around with his golf club. Before going to bed, we went up on the tower in our camp for a moment, and that was Thursday.
On Friday we went to the Temple. We both wrote things on it. Kean wrote one thing for himself and one for the world. I wrote one thing for myself and one for Kean. I almost cried when I saw that somebody had written "I am angry that you were drunk my entire childhood." All in all, our Temple visit wasn't as emotional and teary as last year's.
Then we went all the way out to the orange fence for some scream therapy. We screamed and yelled, shouted and growled. Afterwards I felt like I had created some space inside myself. Kean went on to yell out some words, sentences, asserting himself and his place in the world. I was open to doing that as well, but no words came to me this time.
We ended up catching the end of a discussion about the year 2012. Kean finally got his discussion. I liked that somebody was talking about getting rid of the monetary system and about the concept of time trading. It gave me hope. On the way out I got a very simple compliment from a guy: "You look great." He then added "I figured a compliment has never hurt anyone." I appreciated this.
I was very tired. We went back to camp, and then I decided to go off by myself and look for a shady place to lie down, promising to be back by sunset. I ran into Maryann and then lied down in a white bubbly dome on a white bubbly surface. I got to watch two little girls dance in there. I had never seen as many children at Burning Man as this year. Then Greg walked in very synchronistically, and we chatted for a while. Then I went to distract someone at work.
That night after dinner Whatever took both me and Kean out in the cage at once. He had been talking about it all day. Being in the cage together was very tight but doable. Kean's DJ bag was in the cage with us as well, for his Arachnophobia gig. Whatever kept calling us "you monsters," it was very cute. He pulled us to Center Camp and rode the bike with the cage inside even though there are no bikes allowed. Somebody asked him "Do you work here?" And Whatever said "No, I am just dropping off these monsters." He turned to us and said "Okay, you monsters, here's what we're going to do..." and then he told us not to do any shapeshifting. And with those words he left us.
I went back to camp to take a nap, and Kean went to play at Arachnophobia (the set we had thought was happening Thursday). He came to wake me up when he was done. It was time to put me in the cage and take me to El Circo where all the other animals are. Based on past years' experiences, El Circo gets very animalistic on Friday night. At El Circo I found another cage to dance in. I freaked a guy out with my spiky mask; I could tell that he was taken. This meant a lot to me because I have always wanted to be one of those creatures that enhance somebody else's trip. Kean and I also did some sexy dancing together. We always have so much fun together.
We ended up at another camp with good music and danced some more. We found the suspended balancing rope we had gone on last year when we were leashed together. Somebody looked at me with the spiky mask and said "Sexy."
Kean was tired - he hadn't had a nap like me, but I wanted more dancing. He ended up going to sleep and said to me "Go play." I loved him for that. I set out back to El Circo around 4:30am, agreeing to be back by sunrise. I stayed incognito with my mask. A very nice guy kept trying to talk to me but I just couldn't. I just nodded. He ended up giving me a metal hook, which I tied to a string around my neck. He said he had been carrying it around for years and now felt compelled to give it to me. I felt very honored but still couldn't talk. When the sun came up, I revealed myself for the first time, to Talia. We danced for a little bit, and then I went home to bed.
Our plan all along was to leave on Saturday before the burn to avoid traffic and the craziness. By the end of the week I was actually open to staying longer because I kind of wanted to get in some more desert dancing, but Kean was totally ready to leave. He did not want to stay another night. And I was open to leaving as well.
That morning we went to another yoga class - a partner yoga class - at Hee Bee Gee Bee. It was waaaaay too crowded. We stayed for the opening meditation and stretching but left even before the first partner pose. It was unfortunate. We went to Center Camp to look at art and have another cold beverage. Unfortunately we forgot our cups. They give out disposable cups now, but we didn't want to use any. So I rushed back to camp to get our cups while Kean stood in line. When I got back, I slammed them down on the counter just as Kean was about to order. Perfect timing. I was psyched.
As we were nursing our beverages, I saw someone receive a didgeridoo meditation on the ground. I was intrigued and thought that it looked so energizing. I talked to the guy who had just received it afterwards, and he asked me if I wanted one too. I said "Hell yeah!" I felt so lucky. He had me lie down on the floor, and I received my very own didgeridoo "sound bite" from him and two other people. I felt amazingly uplifted afterwards.
Kean listened to another lecture about altruism, and then we looked at art. Kean took pictures until my camera broke. Oh well, it had been wonky for a few weeks anyway and was over four years old. I was just glad it waited until our last day to break. If anything, it was a confirmation that it really was our time to leave. And there was only one more thing I wanted to get a picture of, but it was words anyway, so I just wrote them down:
I am the wind you are the sea
Only you can capture me
And hold me down
Long enough to see
After these happy endings, we packed. It went surprisingly well and fast. We said good-bye to Whatever and some campmates. I said to Whatever "It's been nice being around you," which felt truest. We were on the road around 5pm, off the playa around 6. There was no traffic at all. I got a speeding ticket in a 25 zone. I flicked that chip right off my shoulder. We spent the night in Reno at the Fireside Inn or something like that.
The next day, when we stopped at a gas station somewhere on the way, I saw my friends Michael and Pablo. They said "Guess who's with us." It was my ex-roommate Zaina, who had moved to England four and a half years ago and whom I hadn't seen since. It was so cool to have a little reunion at a random gas station. It was her first time at Burning Man, and she said "Now I know how you felt back when you got back from it for the first time," which was in 2004 when were still roommates.
We arrived in front of my house at 5:45pm, which is the time of the Kean because SKS are his initials. The first S is silent. We cleaned the van the next day and had manicures and pedicures and Indian food from a restaurant. Somehow the transition to civilized life wasn't as shocking as it usually is. I felt like I didn't have as much of an afterglow, I didn't crave food and cold beverages as much, and even the first shower didn't feel as spectacular. I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. I was a little disappointed. I like to think though that it's because my real life resembles life at Burning Man more than ever before.
*I finally found out that Radiculitis is the English word for Nervenwurzelenzündung. It took me years. I guess I am becoming a more resourceful translator.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Taos, NM
I am in New Mexico for a week with my friend Liz and her tiny dog Bela. We spent the last two days in her car, and now we are here. We are visiting a friend of hers and staying at his house in Taos.
I am still working on Part II of my Burning Man report; it is coming soon, I promise, I am almost done. It will probably be a few more days though because when I am not looking at New Mexican things, I am also working on some translations that I took with me.
I am appreciating how flexible and mutable my life is right now.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
A Very Caged Burning Man 2009 - Part I
Last year I had Betty the bus; this year I had the Carriage of Destiny, a burgundy Toyota van from a very nice San Francisco resident named Pete, who had responded to my Craigslist ad. The Carriage of Destiny was a lot smaller than Betty, but it also used a lot less gas. Really, it was the perfect size for me and Kean and all of our stuff.
We left Friday afternoon, which was earlier than I had ever left before. We spent the night in Reno and arrived in Black Rock City on Saturday around 3pm, which was also earlier than I had ever arrived before.
When we got to our camp at 7 o'clock and Esplanade, we were greeted by the dungeon master Jimbo, who told us to get out of the car for a hug, leaving the van in the middle of the street. Sure, why not, the playa was still super empty anyway. The dungeon was already almost entirely erected. After greetings, a naked man showed us to our campsite, which was at the very far side of our camp, closer to 6:50 and A. In between us and the dungeon there was absolutely nothing but space, and it would stay almost like that for the entire week. Our camp never got that populated, which was just fine with me.
Right next to us, a carport with a big tent underneath was already set up. It belonged to Whatever from Oregon, who stayed a trusty neighbor for the entire week. He ran the camp Moist, which does plaster casting of body parts. "We do boobs mostly," he explained, "with butts in second place, and some dicks. One year we constructed a huge boobie boner butt monster out of dozens of plaster casts." I told him right there that I was so going to quote him in my Burning Man report.
I was really jealous of Whatever's setup for about the first 24 hours. He had a lot of shade going for him. We didn't have any shade. This was the first time that I was not incorporated into a big camp shade structure. We had to move our cooler according to the sun several times a day, and we also moved our camping chairs around quite a bit for the same reason. Luckily Whatever offered that we could bring our chairs to his shade anytime we wanted, and we took him up on that often. He also let us use his sun shower. In return, we regularly brought him food.
We spent a lot of the first couple of days putting up curtains in the van to cover all the windows, figuring out where to stow everything depending on access priority, and putting together the wagon and the cage. Kean used bailing wire to attach the cage to the wagon. He also used bailing wire to attach a piece of wood to his bike, which worked as a trailer hitch. I was really proud of him, and luckily our camp had some very helpful tools, such as an electrical saw. We also created a little shade structure on top of the cage, to protect the animal from the sun.
I also fashioned myself a bike basket out of a plastic crate and some zip ties. So far I had only had a bike basket my first year at Burning Man, but going forward I think it is absolutely essential. I love being able to put some sunblock and my parasol in there during the day, a jacket or two at night, and always my water bottle. All week I was thankful to have a bike basket again.
The first two or three days I didn't put any energy into my fashion. I just didn't care. I wore my slippers everywhere and boring attire. I just wanted to be comfortable. I decided that this year just wasn't as much about fashion for me. For the first two or three days I didn't wear any make-up either.
I think it was on Sunday that Kean, Whatever and I sat around in Whatever's shade when we met another neighbor, Frost. He gave each of us a cock ring made out of inner tubes. Yes, even I got one. I wore it around my upper arm for a couple of days.
On Sunday night, Kean took me out in the cage for the first time. It was a ridiculously fun feeling to be lying in the cage while being pulled around the playa by a bicycle. I was all asqueals. He took me to see my friend Gerry. Gerry asked if I could come out of the cage so he could hug me. We hadn't seen each other since he moved to Denver earlier this year. Kean allowed it.
Later we did some exploring on separate bikes. There weren't any parties going on yet, but we were able to look at art. We went out to the deep playa and perused the city. There was so much empty space. At one point Kean got to his knees and said "I just want to ground myself for a moment and take it all in." An art car went by that was playing an amazingly beautiful and sexy Spanish hip-hop song. I wish I will hear that song again sometime. The sensual environment of seeing Kean on his knees and hearing that Spanish song will stay with me for a while, I think.
We found this "three-dimensional rectangle," as I called it, that had lots of buttons and controls with which to create music. Kean got really into it while I stood by and breathed. I was tired. The first two nights I got really tired relatively early. This really bugged me. I mentioned this to somebody on Monday, and he turned me on to the idea of disco napping. Disco napping had never really worked for me because once I am asleep, I don't want to get up again. But I did it almost every night for the rest of the week, and it did wonders for my sleep schedule and energy levels. Thank you, Dan!
First thing Monday morning we went to a yoga class at Hee Bee Gee Bee Healers. We only caught the tail end of it, but it was glorious. It ended with some partner poses, which I love. I was surprised to see how full the class was for a Monday morning. Towards the end of the class we met this girl Jo, whom apparently I had met before. She tagged along with us to Tabula Rasa which was promising in the What-Where-When to have "Jewelry Creating & Drum and Spoken Word Sharing." The camp was deserted when we got there, so instead we hung out in a dome full of hammocks. Then Kean and I went to Center Camp to get ice with my bike basket. Ice is yet another reason why bike baskets rule.
Then we got the cage out again because it was time for me to take my monkey to the Monkey Chant back at Hee Bee Gee Bee. The chant was fun but a little too repetitive for me. Towards the end I just lied around while the others still monkeyed around because guess what? I was tired. Grrrr, the tiredness was really getting to me.
After the chant I took my monkey to see our friend Talia. She had just arrived and was setting up her tent. She said she wanted to play with us but needed some time to set up her tent. So I took the monkey around the block, and we found a camp that was playing drum&bass. I let the monkey out of the cage and let him dance. It was delightful. "He likes drum&bass", I explained to the bystanders. Then we went back to Talia's camp. She gave us some refreshing beverages, and we helped her get the rest of her stuff out of her car. Unfortunately she didn't get to talk to the monkey because caged animals don't talk, but she got to tickle him. We also jumped on the trampoline in Talia's camp until I had to pee. Whilst looking for the nearest potties, I found my friend Icka in her camp, Ocean's Serene. She gave me a Diet Coke which really hit the spot.
Then I took Kean to a camp meeting at Arachnophobia because he wanted to DJ for them sometime. While he was in the meeting, I went to the Lamp Lighters because Kean and I were thinking about volunteering. It was too late though; they told me to come much earlier next time. We would have liked to volunteer another night, but that never happened.
One of my favorite things of the day was when Kean was munching on my panties from within the cage. Yes, through the bars.
That night our camp initiated the dungeon. One of the girls got naked and was strapped to a table, and we all got to eat a buffet of strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce off of her. I got one of her nipples, yum! Then we all got to touch her with floggers and crops and feathers and other devices. It was fun but Kean and I got bored with it after a while. There is only so long that kind of stuff keeps my interest. I learned this year that I am much more interested in the psychological aspects of bondage than the physical ones. Add to that that we had the cage, and I didn't end up spending much more time in the dungeon at all. After that I went to sleep for a short nap before the evening festivities. It felt so right. Kean took a nap as well. He got up a little before I did because he was playing a set at Arachnophobia that night.
I woke up around midnight but could not get myself out of bed. I stalled until about 12:30 at which point I slowly got dressed and had an energy drink. I was still not very inspired to dress up, so I just wore some black pants, a short black skirt, a black T-shirt and a long black sweater - pretty boring. It was Monday night, which is usually my favorite night on the playa, but I just wasn't feeling inspired enough. That would soon change though because that night ended up a whirlwind of fun for me.
I had pushed myself out of bed so as not to miss too much of Kean's set, and when I got to Arachnophobia, he wasn't even on yet. Instead, I found him flirting with a girl. I just wanted to flee right back to bed. But instead I sat in one of the cages and reminded myself that IT'S OKAY. Soon after Kean started playing music, and soon after I started dancing. I started feeling regretful about my chosen outfit. I had been worried about being cold in the middle of the night, but now I was warm inside the Arachnophobia dome. So I took off my shirt, and that was a damn good decision. I was now wearing a black bra, some skin tight black pants and a tiny black skirt, and I was feeling sexy.
Of course I know and love most of Kean's music, so it was very easy for me to enjoy myself on the dance floor. Gerry showed up and danced in one of the cages most of the time, and I sat in there with him, making both of us feel really safe. The party never really got crowded but I made friends with a few people on the dance floor. One guy and I danced like monkeys together, pounding the ground to make the dust go swirling, and another guy and I shared a really long hug and a long moment of eye-gazing after we had freaked out to a few songs next to each other. And another guy I had met earlier in the day gave me sips of Apple Pucker, which was incredibly tasty. There was one couple who stayed for quite a while who were clearly on something that made them feel very sexual, especially the girl. I was dying to know if they were an established couple or if they had just met, but I never did ask. The girl kept making orgasmic noises, and she was playing with her nipples and stripped in one of the cages. The guy was mostly just dancing in front of her with a hug smile on his face. When they left, I was excited for them because I was sure they were going to have some hot sex.
Oh yeah, Juicy showed up that night too. He walked right up to me and said "Hi, I'm Juicy. Remember?" I had met him in 2006 and again in 2008. He always wears the most extravagantly futuristic outfits and is altogether amazing. I am always so flattered when he remembers me.
At one point I walked to the potties and saw the moon set over the mountains. It was beautiful and made me realize that I was in the right place at the right time.
By the time Kean's set was over, it was almost time for sunrise. I was so excited that I wasn't tired yet! Gerry, Kean and I rode our bikes around. We ended up at the climbable fallopian butterfly, and I sat on the top for a while. Then I vacated it so that somebody else could enjoy it for the actual sunrise. Gerry wanted to go dancing, but Kean and I didn't, so we parted ways. Kean and I went to our camp, which now had a tower. We climbed on top and watched the sunrise from there. A walker-by took a photo of us, Kean behind me with his arms around me, both of us shrouded in hoods. I am sure it's a beautiful photo, and I'm sure I'll never get to see it. Then it was time for more sleep.
In the morning we opened the van door so that people could watch us if they wanted to, and then it was time for the double leash again, just like Tuesday last year. We walked a few blocks to try to get Vegan Deliciousness aka Muggins (vegan egg, cheese and sausage muffins). I figured that since it was early in the week, early in the day and since the food offered was vegan, not too many people would be interested. But I was wrong. There was a long line, and unfortunately the Tree Ring Circus had underestimated the demand for Muggins. They ran out before it was our turn, and we were turned away, mugginless.
We were told that there was vegan ice cream down the Esplanade somewhere. We found the camp but they weren't ready to serve yet. That's when we ran into our theatrical, story-telling friend Rich. He looked at our double leash and said "Equal opportunity BDSM!" Indeed. He also told us that there was a camp on the 9 o'clock plaza that served watermelon. We walked over there and yes, it was true. We gorged ourselves on slices and slices of watermelon. My belly was so full when we were done.
Since we had the cage, our double leash stint didn't last too long this time. It was time to get the cage out again, so that Kean could take his monkey to Darwin's Monkey Bar. It was a little disappointing because I expected more of a playground, and all they had was a horizontal ladder to swing from. But I played for a little bit, and Kean fed me, and we enjoyed the mist trickling down from the camp's roof.
Next Kean took me to Mohammed's Martinis & Erotica. We had visited there on Tuesday last year as well and written an erotic story. This time, we wrote another erotic story about the subtle act of exhibitionism that had happened in the van earlier. Since I was in creature mode and was wearing my dust mask muzzle, my only contribution was nodding and writing down a word here and a word there. We turned the story in without reading it out loud this time.
Then Kean took me back to the camp with the vegan ice cream, and sure enough, they were serving now. I bounced up and down in the cage, Kean opened the door and told me to stay. He got some ice cream and fed it to me. This got lots of people's attention, and many a picture was taken. Then Kean locked the cage door again, got another ice cream and started eating it right in front of me. He was trying to be cruel, but when I started bouncing up and down again and screaming, he couldn't resist sharing it with me.
What I loved the most about being in the cage this time is that whenever people asked "Aw, she's caged; has she been bad?" or said "Bad girl," Kean said "No, actually, she's really really good." The day before, when Kean had been in the cage, people had said/asked the same things, and, not knowing what else to say, I had gone along with it and said "Yeah, he's a bad boy." But it wasn't true. He was a good boy, and that's why he was in the cage. And I was also good. Neither of us has ever really gotten off on being bad; but we both get off on being called good. I was thankful that Kean started asserting that, and my love for him grew even more because of it.
Kean also took me to the Wedge. I got excited and started bouncing up and down again. I thought I wanted to go on it, but after watching a few people get hurt, I decided not to because I was only wearing underwear and thus exposing way too much skin to chafe. Then we serendipitously ran into Dustin in the middle of the playa. It was his first time at Burning Man, and he was totally on top of it.
On the way home, we found the other bondage camp, Suspended Animation. They were having rope demonstrations in a packed dome. Four different people were being roped up and suspended in different ways. It was all inspiring to watch. Unfortunately we had to leave the cage outside.
Around dusk, I had Whatever plaster cast my boobs. And that's when our Parisian friend Taloch came to visit us. Kean and I had met her on a plane to Paris earlier this year. She helped Whatever put the plaster on me. It was a happy reunion.
That night I took a nap after sunset again, and Kean played in the dungeon with some of our campmates. When I woke up, we invited the mushroom goddess to come play with us at the False Profit Party. This was a mistake. I was feeling overwhelmed and needed to get away from the crowds. While Kean was in the potty, I squatted down next to my bike and started crying. I don't really know why, besides a feeling of overwhelm. When he came back, I grabbed for him and pulled him down and said "I just need to stay down here for a moment, please." It actually felt really good to reach out and say "I need you right now." I don't do that often but I was glad that I felt the need and courage to do so.
I told him that I had no will anymore and no decision making prowess, and that I just wanted to sit somewhere comfy and be a blob. I asked him not to ask me any questions and just take me somewhere safe. We found a camp called Mystical Misfits. They had a huge swing hanging from the ceiling; there weren't too many people there and the ones that were, were chilling; it was pretty quiet, so I plopped myself down on the ground all blob-like. I felt safe again. Kean found a couch, and after a while I joined him there. He kept trying to talk to me, and it must have been frustrating because I just couldn't really listen, much less talk. Once in a while I said "Can we stay here for a while longer, please?" It felt weird to be so sessile and to ask him to be so sessile with me, but it was important to me, in that moment, not to have to move until I knew I was ready.
At one point, a guy got onto the swing and started swinging. He said "Whee?" I started giggling. He sounded so shy and tentative. I wanted to say "Whee is right!" This desire almost snapped me out of my state of blobdom. But another guy beat me to it and said "I think you need to get out some whee's there, buddy!" And soon the guy on the swing was wheeing all over the place, and I was giggling all over the place.
Eventually I felt ready to keep moving. But I still wasn't in the mood to party or dance. I felt apprehensive and not very human. Kean and I came across a merry-go-round on the Esplanade. I normally love merry-go-rounds, but I didn't trust my body yet. I said "I kind of want to go on it. But I also kind of have to pee." Ah, my needs again. The night was all about my needs, I guess. I am not proud of it but sometimes it's also nice to give in to the neediness.
We skipped the merry-go-round that time, which made me sad in hindsight, and the night ended on kind of a bummer note on the tower in our camp. It hadn't been bad, but certainly not full of joy either.
Part II is here.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Back from the dust, once again
Kean and I pulled up in front of my house at 5:45pm on Sunday. We had many great adventures, together and apart, and many synchronicitous moments. My camera broke on the last day on the playa, and my new one should arrive today so that I can use it to get the pictures off of it. I am itching to post the pictures.
I have a lot of translation work to do this week, but hopefully I will find some time to write in more detail about this year's Burning Man experience.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
|
|
|
