I am the proud owner of an IUD

Kean and I recently decided that we wanted to be fluid-bonded. So I decided to get an IUD. It took three tries to make this happen. My first appointment at Planned Parenthood was on December 3. That day, they didn’t have the kind of IUD that I wanted in stock (I wanted the non-hormonal one because I want to keep having my period). I made another appointment for December 10. On that day, they tried to insert the IUD but my cervix wouldn’t open up. I left with a prescription for a medication that would loosen up all the muscles around my uterus.

I had another appointment on Friday, December 19. This time, Kean came with me. I took my medication, and soon after I started getting the most horrible cramps. I felt extremely uncomfortable. They lasted for about half an hour, and after that I just felt slightly altered and weird. Kean was allowed to go into the exam/procedure room with me. I got to sit on a chair like the one at the gynecologist’s office, you know, a leg-spreading chair. The clinician told me that I had just started my period, which was a good thing because the cervix loosens up during the period. She thought there was a very good chance that she was going to be able to insert the IUD that day. I wasn’t sure if the cramps had been due to my period or due to the medication I had taken. I don’t normally get cramps, especially not ones that strong.

As the clinician started stuffing things up my vagina, she let me know exactly what she was doing. First, she felt for my uterus with her hand. Then she cleaned my cervix with some soap. Then she installed a stabilizing device on my cervix. This was uncomfortable and caused cramping. When she tried to measure my cervix, my cervix stayed closed, again. She said that the only thing she could do now was to give me an injection to numb my cervix and then use some devices to dilate my cervix. She told me that the injection needle had to go INTO MY CERVIX. I was horrified. She assured me that a needle going into the cervix is much less painful than a needle going into an arm, which usually doesn’t make me blink much. Still, I was horrified because my cervix was already feeling uncomfortable and crampy enough. Kean came over to me and started petting my head.

As she was getting ready to inject me and measure my cervix, Kean and I started chatting about Christmas and New Year’s and this and that. It was at this point that the clinician stopped keeping me updated exactly on what she was doing. This was a very good thing. She kept inserting things into me, and at one point she said that the numbing would be starting soon and that I should expect to feel less uncomfortable in a moment. She also said that “this part” was “going beautifully.” Kean and I kept chatting, and she kept rummaging around in my vagina, and eventually I said “Wow, that felt weird.” I had felt some pressure pretty high up, somewhere above the belly button. The clinician said “Yep, that’s the IUD. You are now the proud owner of an IUD.”

I was so happy and relieved. I had not felt the injection at all, and the prying open of my cervix with metal devices had just felt like a little bit of fumbling around. I know that some medication, an injection and some metal devices were involved in the opening up of my cervix, but I can’t help feeling that Kean’s presence was a big part of it too.

I continued having debilitating cramps for about eight hours after the insertion. I was told that I can expect my period pains to be worse during the first year of having an IUD. I am okay with that because I love having my period, and sometimes I even love having cramps. And somehow I doubt that the cramps are always going to be as bad as they were on that day. When I woke up the next morning, the cramps were gone.

What an adventure!