More Burning Man pictures
Jason and me
Originally uploaded by Verabug.
I have a bunch more pictures from Burning Man in my Flickr album. All of these were taken with other people's cameras but have me in them. (Since I am (one of) the subject(s) in these photos, I was able to justify "stealing" them and putting them in my own album.)
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.: posted by Vera 
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Late birthday present
My friend Lura gave me a late birthday present this week. She had started making it before my birthday but given up because she didn't think she could finish it in time. She finished it this week instead. It's a reversible apron with pockets on each side. The pockets have things inside them that are attached with strings so that you can either keep them inside the pockets or let them hang on the outside. She said she was inspired by Oilily because supposedly they make kids' clothes that have toys inside them that are attached with strings so that the kids don't lose them.
Anyway, I love my late birthday present. I wore it to a party last night.
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.: posted by Vera
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Bonding
It's nice when, on your fourth day at a new job, you get to take a brewery tour with all of your brand new co-workers. After two hours of banter while sampling a variety of beers on a sunny afternoon, those brand new co-workers feel like comfortable and soft pairs of socks.
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.: posted by Vera
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A conversation
Scene: In a moving car with a friend. He is driving; I am in the passenger seat.
Friend: I have been taking a banana and a yogurt to work as a mid-morning snack.
Friend: And I have been carrying them in a plastic bag, which I thought was kind of tacky.
Friend: So I decided to go out and buy a bag to carry the stuff in.
Friend: So now I have been bringing a bag into work with the banana and yogurt in it.
Me: Cool.
Friend: But then one day I realized that what I had was a purse. The bag I had bought was a purse.
Me: What kind of bag is it?
Friend: A very small bag with a strap that I carry over my shoulder.
Me: What color is it?
Friend: Black and silver.
Me: Hm.
Friend: I don't really care.
Friend: It's just that I had no intention of buying a purse.
Friend: I thought it was perfect for a banana and a yogurt.
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.: posted by Vera
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New job again
Today I started a new job. Again. Yes, still at the same company.
I am very excited and have a good feeling about this. I will be working on the Flash Player team. This team is probably the most technical of all the teams I have worked on so far. Technical = good. Why? Because I regret not having majored in computer science and am trying to make up for that.
About that. I majored in economics. This was mostly because all throughout college I dreamt of becoming a market research analyst. I wanted to predict consumer behavior for a living. My first job right out of college came pretty close. I was a demand and forecast coordinator. For a dog food company. I had absolutely no interest in dog food or even dogs, for that matter. Also, trying to predict how much of what people were going to buy wasn't as personal as I thought it was going to be. I didn't get to theorize on consumer psychology and come up with ideas for innovative new products that consumers were going to just LOVE, and instead I had to look at spreadsheets and crunch numbers all day long. It made me feel dead inside.
During that time I once browsed the Fornarina website. It was done in Flash and it was pretty and pink and had bubbles floating around (it looks different now although it is still done in Flash). That's when I started to think that I really should have majored in graphic design so that I could design cool websites like the Fornarina one.
Fate would then have me move to Virginia, which forced me to quit my job as a number cruncher and look for a new job. After applying for all kinds of jobs I had absolutely no interest in doing, I finally found one that I liked: Operations assistant at an e-learning company. From the job description I remember "act as a liaison" and from the interview I remember "learn a little bit of HTML." HTML! How exciting! That's what websites are made out of! I got the job and started acting as a liaison and learning HTML.
I soon learned that the team I was liaising (yes, this is actually a word, believe it or not) was creating e-learning content in Flash. Flash! That's what the Fornarina site was made out of. Oh, how jealously I looked at the developer's and designer's screens who were drawing shapes and making buttons and making things move. I started teaching myself Flash because I thought it was just the coolest thing ever. Then sometimes developers would let me make simple things in Flash that they had done a million times before and didn't feel like doing. I was all over it! I took a lot of pride in those little things. After a while, a developer even let me produce a whole lesson in Flash that he didn't feel challenged by. I, being a beginner at Flash, felt very challenged by it and had so much fun with it, I came in on the weekend to finish it. (If you're curious, it's the one titled Fact Families. I did all the interactivity in it.) And that's how I became a Flash developer.
I soon started realizing that I was not a designer though. So graphic design was out of the question. I don't like making things pretty; I like to make things work. I like to program. And that's why I now think that computer science is what I really should have majored in. And that's why when I start a new job that's very technical and very computer science-y, I get very excited.
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.: posted by Vera
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Maybe next year
Things I thought I would do at Burning Man but never did:
- Run around in my Hoop for Peace underpants
- Wear my Rainbow Brite costume
- Have sex
- Have at least one emotional or physical breakdown
- Get sunburned
- Get into a state of mutual annoyance with my RV mates
- Get my period
- Tell a certain person how I really feel
- Hoop naked
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.: posted by Vera
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New glasses again
I got new glasses, yo.
No, there is nothing wrong with my eyes. These are non-prescription. Yes, they are pink. Yes, they are cat-eye. Yes, they have sparkly rocks on them. Yes.
One time at Burning Man, I was at Stefan's camp looking for my lost hoop. When I couldn't find it, Stefan gave me a consolation prize: He took me to a table with a pile of glasses on it, sun glasses and non sun glasses. These are the ones I picked out.
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.: posted by Vera
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Fiery profile
I never thought I would be one of those people who uses one of those fire pictures in their profile in which all you see is fire and you can't even recognize the person. But there you have it. I do think though that you can still recognize me in the fire.
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.: posted by Vera
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HAHAHAHAHA
From: management@mediasparkles.com
To: vera@mediasparkles.com
Subject: E-mail account disabling warning.
Attachment: Message.zip
Dear user, the management of Mediasparkles.com mailing system wants to let you know that,
Our antivirus software has detected a large ammount of viruses outgoing
from your email account, you may use our free anti-virus tool to clean up your computer software.
Further details can be obtained from attached file.
For security purposes the attached file is password protected. Password is "46020".
Have a good day,
The Mediasparkles.com team http://www.mediasparkles.com
Right. Dude, the mediasparkles.com team? I'm it. And I would never send out an email with such abominable punctuation, spelling and spacing. (Dude, what is with the spacing?) Especially not to myself. Nice try though. It never hurts to try. Although in this case I think it does kind of hurt. I am detecting a large amount of idiocy outgoing from your email. That must be painful.
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.: posted by Vera
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Fire hooping x 10
The ever hospitable Jason had a bunch of us over tonight to do some more fire hooping. There were three fire hoops to go around, and at least ten of us who lit up, many for the first time. Jason took lots of pictures.
Aimée was perhaps the best fire hooper I have ever seen. Jason and Philo were the most courageous considering it was their first time. Didn't they see that their hoops were like ON FIRE? I was very impressed by the tricks they already dared. I, as usual, was a chicken again although I did make some progress. I hooped with my knees and wiggled it back up this time instead of jumping out of the hoop screaming, and I even hooped with my neck briefly towards the end when two of the flames were already out. Small victories, but victories indeed.
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.: posted by Vera
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Sleep
Recently, whenever I have laid down my head to sleep, I have been murmuring the word "Sleep" the way I have in the past murmured a lover's name when thinking about them at bedtime.
Last night I took a nap at 8pm. I was supposed to get up at 10:30pm to get ready for a party. But when the alarm went off, I couldn't be bothered, so I turned off the alarm and went back to sleep until 8am this morning.
While I slept, I dreamt quite a bit. I dreamt that I was on some kind of big road trip with my family during which my parents kept getting angry at me for I don't remember what.
I also dreamt that during this road trip, we ran into Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I wanted my mom to take a picture of the twins and me. I was on the left, Mary-Kate next to me in the middle because I like her better, and Ashley on the right. The picture didn't turn out very well though. Ashley was looking the other way, Mary-Kate was frowning at the camera, and my face was cut off beyond recognition.
I also dreamt that somebody (I have no idea who it was) that didn't go to Burning Man this year took some of the playa dust I had brought home and threw it up over her head, then looked up and tried to breathe it in with her mouth and her nose and every other possible orifice while making sounds of relief.
I also dreamt that the boy who I thought I was finally over was not in fact seeing the girl I suspected he was seeing but somebody else. The dream provided visual evidence for this. Then I woke up and was happy that it was just a dream. Or was it? One thing I know for sure: I am not over him.
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.: posted by Vera
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After party thoughts
- What was I thinking staying out until 6am when I still have hours and hours of sleep to catch up on from last week?
- I was introduced to somebody today whose name I already knew and who I have seen at a lot of parties. He said to me "You and I have moved in tangential circles for the last year and a half." He was hot too. It's nice when somebody hot says something cool like that to you.
- I was tired but the music was too good to leave, so I took a nap next to the dance floor. When I woke up, my ear was all itchy. An insect had bitten my ear. It's all swollen now.
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.: posted by Vera
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My first Burning Man - The long ass recap
[This is going to be long. But it will be relatively easy for you because all you have to do is read it. I on the other hand had to write it all. Some of the stuff here is already mentioned in my highlights and lowlights posts. Apologies for the redundancy. This is probably the most personal post you will ever find in this blog. I didn't try as hard to write well; I just tried to write it all down. Please note that this is still not the unabridged version. Certain things must be censored when the whole world is your potential audience. If you want the full story, you will have to talk to me in person. And don't think that if we haven't met you can just email me and I will divulge everything. But if you know me in person, I probably will. I know this sounds self-important but I just want to make clear that while I wrote a very long story, it's still not the full story.]
We arrived in Black Rock City at 2:45am on Sunday, August 29. We had wanted to leave San Francisco at 12:30pm, which then became 4:30pm and the actual departure time was 6pm.
The moon was full and it was chilly when we arrived. Not much was set up in our camp yet but there were a few tents and cars. Diane and I got out of the RV and started running around our camp. We were giddy and very loud. We giggled and squealed, much to the dismay of the sleepers in our camp, I'm sure. I also remember thinking "What dust?" After screaming for a while and chatting with somebody from Camp Hi, our neighbors, and asking ourselves where the hell the generator was, all five of us went to sleep.
We rose relatively early on Sunday morning. We stuck our heads out of the RV door towards the morning playa. Within five minutes of doing so, we saw at least eight people we knew. They were all campmates of ours. It felt great to be in such a strange new place and yet see all these familiar smiles.
Our campmates started working on their various projects: the Supersonic Runway, the Sol Henge, the Solarium, the DJ booth, the shower, etc. Since Diane, Sydnor and I were all part of the COOR (Community & Orientation) team, we started erecting the dome that would become our community dome for the whole camp. It got hot very quickly that morning, and we were soon drenched in sweat and completely exhausted. Putting up the dome was a LOT of work. It took between three and ten of us at least four hours to complete. But when it was done, I was very proud to have been part of its erection, and I would point out the dome to visiting friends for several days.
The next day (Monday) we decided that it was now time to put on cute outfits since the hardest work was done. Diane, Sydnor and I wore wings to welcome arriving campmates and to be easily recognizable as COOR team members. Little did we know that this day would be another very hard work day. Even though the exterior of the dome was done, the interior was not. We spent all day laying carpet, spreading floor fabric, hauling in couches and cushions and asking ourselves where our sound system was.
At 4pm that day we were supposed to have a Burning Man BAH gathering (Bay Area Hoopers) at Philo's, Marta's and Jason's camp, SporoSite. I rode my bike over to their camp. On the way there I stopped at a camp with lots of hoops and met Stefan. I was instantly in love with him. I invited him to our BAH gathering and he said he would be there in ten minutes. When I got to SporoSite, Philo and Marta were busy body painting naked people. Since their camp had no music yet, we decided to move our gathering to Stefan's camp. Anah, Christabel and Sass were there, and after a while it was decided to go move our hooping to Center Camp. I ran into several people I know there. This would happen throughout the week (except for Friday and Saturday when the masses had arrived): Wherever I went I would run into people I know. I suppose this is inevitable when almost all of the people you know go to Burning Man. It was very comforting.
We hooped for a bit and then I went home to get ready for my first Burning Man party night. This night would be one of the most defining moments of the week. Up until now I had seen only the construction and camping side of Burning Man. Now I was about to see the party and night life side. Around 9pm Diane, Jm and I rode our bikes all the way to the other side of the playa to the 13 Moon Tribe camp. DJ Danny was playing very sick breaks when we got there. The DJ booth and dance floor were set up in a shade structure that consisted of a floor covering and a roof held up by about twelve poles. But within an hour people were spilling out of the shade structure and onto the desert floor. The scene was utterly fascinating to me. People got out their craziest dance moves half under the shade structure and half under the stars, and the wind was blowing, and our clothes were flying in the wind like flags. DJ Danny played a particularly punchy track that will be forever tattooed onto my brain. After a couple of hours we realized that we were almost out of water. The reserves in our Camelbaks and our Nalgene bottles were almost depleted. We had to go back to camp to get more water. I insisted that we could only go if we promised to come back to this magically freaky desert dance tent. We did come back but it wasn't the same. A different DJ was on who played some terrible house or trance, and I soon found myself having to leave. And this, my friends, was my first Burning Man party night. I was all over it. And it was only Monday.
On Tuesday we had to work more. We prepared welcome bags for our newly arriving campmates. The welcome bags were zip lock bags containing ear plugs, a dust mask, some Emergen-C packets, some Sol System temporary tattoos, and a trash bag. We also had to put up rope lights and decorative fabric in the community dome. Luckily we had lots of helpers, and I actually started slacking off that day. I did however ride my bike around the camp site in the afternoon and misted with a spray bottle all the people working on other projects in the fierce sun. That evening I also gave several quick massages to the worker bees. People were really starting to appreciate the existence of the COOR team.
That night was our first party night at Sol System. DJ Pia played the opening set, and I was a happy dancer until the music changed from breaks to not breaks. I walked over to the Solarium, our chill dome, and a whole gang of my campmates was already there. We hung out on fabric-covered gym mats and big fuzzy cushions and listened to trippy music by Doctor Space Jazz. Later that night I found myself back on the Sol System dance floor and saw my first Burning Man sunrise. There were only about ten of us on the dance floor, and several people screamed when they saw the first piece of sun climb up over the mountains. I would later learn that this happens every morning: Burning Man people like to scream at first glimpse of the morning sun.
On Wednesday I finally found out what playa dust is. It was dusty and windy all day. Our crew's work was delayed heavily because the dust made it hard to see and breathe and the wind made it hard to keep shit steady. I stayed in the RV most of the day. When I saw any of my campmates who had been outside, they had dusty faces and their hair looked gray. In the early evening I had to embrace the dust myself. Sam sent me out on an errand to Center Camp. I had to ride through thick dust all the way to Center Camp and back. The hair on my head turned gray and the hair on my arms appeared blond. But once I had accepted that my hair was ruined, the dust storm was actually pretty fun. It felt good to have the wind and dust blow around my scantily clad body. It was a refreshing change from the heat of the first few days.
That night our camp had an opening ceremony in the community dome. That night marked a turning point from work days to party days. We burnt pieces of paper on which we had written something that we want to let go and something that we want to receive. The team leads got to thank all of their helpers. Finally we collectively manifested that the dust storms stop at least for that night. It worked.
I had to work the DJ booth shift from 8 to 1 that night. Working the DJ booth shift means making sure that the DJ's know where what is and that the next DJ comes on at the right time. Ben Chun, who I know personally and whose music I love, came on during my shift, and it was fun welcoming him to the Sol System DJ booth.
After my shift was over I stuck around the Sol System dance floor for a couple of more hours and had a grand old time. Alxndr played and then DJ Danny from Moontribe again. Used to the wind and dust from earlier in the day, I danced in my protective gear, my furry scarf-like thing practically flying off of my body. It felt so otherworldly, I loved it. I walked through the Supersonic Runway and marveled at its lights. DJ Danny played the same song that he had tattooed onto my brain on Monday night, and I shrieked with glee. That was one of my happiest playa moments. Hearing the same awesome song again confirmed something for me. I'm not sure what. Maybe that I was at the right place at the right time or that things were exactly as they should be. I kept telling the story of the Monday magic and the Wednesday follow-up to friends, but nobody seemed to quite understand its significance. But I guess all that matters is that it was significant for me. Maybe what I need to do is let Danny know and thank him.
Things went downhill after Danny's set. Robin told me of a rumor that Tipper was going to be playing somewhere near 2 o'clock and Saturn. I told her that I had to refill my water and then would come with her. She said to just meet her there and rode off. I stood there feeling confused and let down. Of course I never found the Tipper party. I decided to try to find the Space Cowboys camp for some surrogate breaks action and ran into none other than Jason and Seth on the way! I accompanied them to the Hookah Dome where people were mostly just lying around and vegging out. The scene weirded me out and I persuaded Jason to leave with me. We danced at the Space Cowboys Unimog for a short while and then made it to my camp's chill dome for the sunrise. Jason got sleepy before I did and left shortly after sunrise. I stuck around to observe the strange happenings on the morning playa. I saw a person who was dancing and brushing her teeth at the same time. My eyes bugged out. Then I noticed that a cart had been wheeled onto our dance floor that had tooth brushes, tooth paste and a built-in spitting sink. Soon there were several dancers brushing their teeth. If I hadn't see this with own eyes, I would have thought it's a joke. It made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I thought the dental care cart was the greatest idea since, like, the invention of the tooth brush.
I also noticed this pair of guys. I call them a pair because they kept following each other in and out of the dance floor, their steps and turns totally in sync, only sometimes taking little detours from their center of gravity, but soon sync'ing back up. It was like they were playing jazz with dance moves instead of instruments. The interesting thing was that their outer appearances were almost polar opposites. One was black and wearing a pink beanie and a sweat suit; the other was white and wearing a sombrero, a bandana across his face and a poncho. I wish I had taken a picture of them, but they had jived their way out of my sight before I thought to get out my camera. I went to sleep at 9am.
About the sleeping: I rarely slept more than three hours during a 24 hour period. I had been curious to see when and how much I would sleep. Some people had recommended sleeping from midnight to 4am to be up for the sunrise. Others had said they sleep from about 6 to 9am while it's still cool enough. I ended up being asleep between 9am and noon most days.
On Thursday I was lazy again and didn't do much to help out my camp. I felt bad about this, but nobody complained to me so I kept being lazy. My only priority for the day was the 7pm hoop performance that Stefan had been organizing prior to Burning Man and that I had committed to participate in. I asked Alan and Chuck if they waned to see a hoop performance and they biked over there with me. Philo was there and Aimee and Donovan and Robin. Robin told me that she had ended up seeing Tipper play at Nexus Nebula the night before and then again at the Temple at sunrise. This is when I got my first serious bout of FOMO (Fear of missing out). I drifted in and out of this ugly emotion for the next 48 hours. Oh well. Tipper was going to be playing at Sol System on Saturday. I would eventually get my fix, I consoled myself.
So Stefan and his crew did their performance - it was very theatrical and crowd-pleasing - and after that we had a freestyle performance where anybody who wanted to hoop could, including Philo and myself. It was fun.
Thursday night started out awful. I won't get into it too much. All I'm going to say is that I felt crossed by a friend, so I had to disentangle myself from the situation in which the perceived betrayal was taking place. I fled to the Sol System dance floor, but the music was terrible and that bummed me out even more. This was probably the lowest point of my week: I felt betrayed; the music in my own camp sucked; I didn't know of any other parties that interested me that night - what was I supposed to do? Go to bed? Luckily I thought of the COOR dome. And luckily when I got there Bruce and Todd were in there. I plopped myself down right in the middle of them. Bruce told me that he was just hanging out in there until Miranda aka Donna Matrix came on at Sol System and I said "Me too!" I felt better already. I had something to look forward to and I wasn't the only one. I then vaguely told Todd about my suspicion of betrayal, and he suggested that I was probably misinterpreting the situation, and that my friend probably had all intentions to do the right thing. I wasn't convinced but thankful nonetheless to have an ear to whine into in the middle of my shittiest night in Black Rock City. Then none other than Miranda, the DJ Bruce and I were looking forward to, entered the dome and joined our cuddly pile. She, like us, was waiting around until her set.
I had fun during Miranda's set. Things were looking up. It's amazing what a difference the right music can make. I interacted with a nice girl, Flora from Vancouver, at the entrance to the Supersonic Runway for a while and met her boyfriend whose style of dress and dance made him look like a desert bird.
In the morning after having slept I carefully confronted my friend about the night before. She told me that she would never cross a friend the way I had suspected. I believed her. I felt better. I should have known that I can trust her. But the flat feelings from the night before were still in my cells. Add to that chronic fatigue from accumulated sleep deprivation and I was having a pretty bad day. But then came the turning point. I was looking through the RV window at the Sol System dance floor in the late afternoon. I was pretty sure that I was seeing my friend Dana with her hoop. I put on sun block and boots and got my water supplies together and then walked over there. I said "Dana!" I was wearing goggles and a dust mask and my hair was covered by a scarf. But somehow Dana managed to recognize me right away. When I was surprised she explained that she knows my body and the way I walk. We hooped for a bit. A carousel art car had been parked next to the dance floor for a while. When it started to move, Dana ran after it and threw herself into one of the seats. I ran after Dana and jumped on as well. The car proceeded to drive into the open playa. I could not believe how brilliant this art car was. There were three types of movement: that of the car driving, that of the carousel turning around the car, and that of your own seat turning around itself. I let myself hang off of the seat upside down, and, as the carousel turned, I saw 360 degrees of playa fly by me upside down. It was one of the most exhilarating and elating things I have ever experienced. As I rotated around the car, it often seemed as if I was going to hit the car, but of course I never did because my seat dodged the car by making a circle around it. Dana jumped off after a short while but I stayed on and continued across the playa in triple motion. People came and went. I noticed for the first time the difference between people who had just gotten to Burning Man and those who had been there all week like me. I'm not sure how but with each person I came across, I felt like I knew if they had just arrived today or the day before. I could just tell.
I finally got off the carousel art car after it had taken me about three quarters of the way across the playa. I walked back towards camp and felt fantastic. All of my troubles were forgotten as I marched home with the long pieces of tulle fabric I had safety-pinned around my hips blowing coolly around my legs. The carrousel ride had made my day and set the tone for the rest of the night: Friday night became one of the best nights of the week for me.
Lorin played an über-amazing set at Sol System that night. I even got to talk to him a little bit afterwards. Of course he won't remember me though; he never does. Maryann showed up, and we rode over to El Circo for another Lorin set. It was very crowded in the El Circo dome but I had fun anyway. After Lorin, some really hot guy from LA played. Maryann and I stayed at El Circo until dawn. As the sky started changing color, we started walking towards the light. We saw the sea saw on wheels just standing there and decided to ride it to the nearest port-a-potties. At the port-a-potties we realized how far we were from El Circo now and decided to keep walking towards the Temple of Stars. We were joined by two of Maryann's friends. Once at the temple, we split from her friends again. It was such a beautiful scene at the temple. People were warm and glowing and reverent. It seemed like everybody there felt just as ecstatic as I did. Maryann and I walked all the way to the beginning of the walkway and then took the walkway to the temple. It was very crowded on top of the temple. People were writing messages and wishes onto it. A guy was crying. Another guy held up a pen and said "Who else wants to write on the temple?" I have never seen so many selfless people paying it forward as at Burning Man. This guy was just one of many, many instances. I felt really grateful for seeing the temple with Maryann at sunrise. I hadn't known Maryann for very long but she now seemed like a lifelong friend. As we walked back towards the port-a-potties, a young guy who we had seen taking pictures at the temple earlier caught up with us. He was sniffling and had tears in his eyes. He said "Beautiful sunrise." We said "Yeah." Then the three of us kept walking in silence. The silence didn't feel awkward at all. After a while we did start talking a little bit and Maryann gave him an energy bar before he went off because he was hungry. I don't remember his name.
Maryann went to bed after this, but I went back to El Circo and later next door to Lush. The music was good and I couldn't stop moving. I danced long after it was time to take off my warm night time clothes and put on sun block. I didn't have any sun block with me and was also out of water, so I finally biked home at about 9am. I could not believe how many familiar faces I saw that morning at El Circo and Lush. Everywhere I looked there was somebody to hug. I also interacted with quite a few unfamiliar faces that morning. I have never seen so many big smiles and sparkly eyes directed at me.
And then it was Saturday, the day that owns the moment that everything else leads up to. I had been dizzy and delirious for the past couple of days, but on Saturday the swimmy state of my mind reached new levels. But that didn't keep me from dancing to hip hop with a bunch of my campmates in the early afternoon or from hooping for my campmates in the late afternoon. I was wearing a tube top for perhaps the first time in my entire life, and one time one of my boobs fell out. I didn't give a shit but recollected it right away anyway. There is a difference between not minding when something happens and wanting something to happen. I didn't mind exposing my boob but it's not something I actively wanted, so I put it back.
At 7pm I rode over to Maryann's camp because she had invited me for an Indian dinner she was cooking. We were joined for dinner by six or seven of her campmates who were all super nice. I was tired. After dinner we joined the rest of the 35,000 people who were gathering around the Man. It all seemed like a big freak circus. There were fire poi spinners and fire hoopers and fire staffers all around the Man. Fireworks went off and people were screaming. I was so tired, I could barely see straight. My eyes were droopy and my mouth was agape, not so much out of amazement but more out of exhaustion. The Man began to burn, and I wanted so badly to let go of the issues I had been dealing with for the last six months. I wanted so badly to have them go up in flames with the Man and set them free. I set my intention with all my might and watched the Man burn, hoping he would take with him the man that's haunting my heart and soul. I'm not sure yet if it worked. We shall see.
When the man was down, people started rushing towards the fire. I could not believe how many heads I saw encroaching on the center, set dark against the bright warm fire. Maryann and I circled the fire along with the crowd for a while and then made our way back to her camp. We were going to fire hoop! The suspicion had been growing inside me all day and finally I expressed my reservations: I told Maryann that I couldn't fire hoop that day. I was too out of it. It wouldn't have been safe. So only Maryann fire hooped. I lit her up and put her out. She did really well. She is not nearly as intimidated by the fire as I am.
We had to be back at Sol System at 1am because Tipper was going to be playing. Adam Ohana played before him, and he was good. My excitement was growing. I had been looking forward to this moment all week. 1 o'clock came and went but there was no sign of Tipper. Our camp's stand-in DJ had taken over the decks. I climbed the DJ truck twice to ask if Tipper was still coming. The response was that he was supposed to but hadn't shown up yet. I was starting to get really worried and almost started crying. It was probably stupid of me to have invested so much emotion in a fucking DJ set, but I was just so disappointed. At 1:45 I finally gave up all hope that Tipper would show up. But luckily I knew that Lorin was supposed to play again at El Circo at 1:30. So Maryann and I made our way over there. El Circo was rocking. A lot of people I knew were there, including Lura and Steve around whom I always feel totally comfortable. There were also a lot of other people I knew that made me feel less comfortable. I felt a little bit on the outside because they seemed to be feeling something that I wasn't, something very animalistic that my own untrained mind doesn't have access to. But as long as Lura or Steve or Maryann were close by I was fine. But then Lura and Steve left and I didn't want to go with them because I was enjoying the music so much, and then Maryann left too because she thought that there was too much "male energy" at El Circo. Now all of my comfort creatures were gone and I was left alone with the animals. I considered going home and to bed but ended up sticking around, and at about 3am Tipper came on! Thank God. I got to see him after all. I loved his set. The bass penetrated every cell in my body.
After Tipper's set I biked back over to Sol System. I ended up missing Lorin's sunrise set at Lush camp, which I later heard was phenomenal, but instead I got to see the sunrise with a bunch of my campmates on our own dance floor. It was definitely a feel good moment. I hadn't seen any of my campmates since before the burn. Smoove, whose music I really like, came on shortly after sunrise, but as soon as he played the first top 40 breaks track, I went to bed to get some rest before the big day of deconstruction. I was expecting the worst from the next day. We had to take down all the things it took almost a week to build, on a day when I knew that all of our limbs were going to be tired and our nerves worn thin.
Luckily Sunday really surprised me. I was in good spirits all day, and Sydnor and Diane seemed to be the same. We giggled at everything. We worked hard and we were hot and tired, but giggling every five minutes so much that it hurt was a great relief from the strain. Shortly before sunset I went to see a very nice boy at his camp, who was at Burning Man for the first time as well, and we had a very nice conversation about our experiences thus far. I was glad that I went to see him.
I didn't party that night but I did see the Temple burn. I was there with some of my campmates, and I was standing farthest to the right. A guy that wasn't part of our group was standing next to me and he said - I paraphrase - "Look at all of those sparks in the sky. Each one of them represents somebody's wish or hope. So many wishes for so many people. My friends told me they knew that it would make me cry." And then I started crying a little bit too. The Temple took a long time to burn down, and in the end only me and Melvin were left out of our group. It was Melvin's second time at Burning Man, and he asked me if I had anything to say since it was my first time. I told him what I had told Diane earlier: that the Man is kind of like a postmodern Jesus. Jesus died for our sins, or so the story goes, which implies guilt. Using religion to guilt-trip ourselves is outdated. So the Man doesn't go down for our sins, but for our issues and challenges. Whatever problems in life we want resolved and whatever baggage we want to purge, we look to the Man to help us. By burning him, we try to burn our issues. The Man goes down to relieve us of something, just like Jesus. I'm sure this comparison has been made many times before.
I didn't see the very end of the Temple burn because I had to pee really really bad. I went and peed and then I helped load rebar onto a truck. After a while of doing that, Maryann and Stefan showed up. We were going to fire hoop! And this time I actually did it. I went first, then Maryann, then Stefan. I was the least skilled but probably the happiest of us fire hoopers. I was so proud that I wasn't as afraid as I thought as I was going to be, and I was so glad that I finally fire hooped on my last night on the playa. I could not have left there without having fire hooped at least once. So once again things were as they should be. After the fire hooping adventure I went to bed. I felt a sense of completion.
Our entire RV got up at 7:30am the next morning. We had to load all the stuff from the COOR dome onto a truck. We were hoping to leave by about noon. Unfortunately we realized that the last members of the Leave No Trace team had left the day before. What kind of Leave No Trace team leaves when there are still lots of traces around? I could not get over that all day. The people from my RV ended up becoming the new Leave No Trace team because somebody had to do it. We ended up packing and loading all kinds of stuff we had nothing to do with it, and we spent several hours packing and sorting trash. It was a big drag. I was pretty pissed at the Leave No Trace team. We finally were good and ready to go by about 3pm. We were definitely part of the hardcore, part of the last people to leave.
Our vehicle came to a standstill within five minutes of leaving our camp site. It seemed like at least half of the 35,000 Burners were trying to leave at the same time. Just trying to exit the playa, we sat in traffic for about three hours. I didn't really mind it. I was chilling in the back of the RV, writing, napping, eating, giggling with Diane. But I felt really bad for Sam and Sydnor who were in the driver cabin and who were naturally much more stressed out by the traffic jam. When things finally started moving, we saw the most beautiful, deeply pink sunset, and then I laid down for a really long nap. At about 11pm we stopped in Reno and went to Denny's. I had an Oreo milk shake and some seasoned fries because that's what I felt like. The Denny's parking lot was full of Burning Man vehicles, and the Denny's restaurant was full of people with pink hair and dusty shoes and exhausted but happy faces. I caught a glimpse of myself in the Denny's bathroom and I couldn't believe how strange I looked. I kind of liked it.
After another long nap in the RV while poor Sydnor was driving, I was finally home by 4am. The next day was fantastic. I was tired but incredibly happy. I had the afterglow going big time; I could tell by the way people were looking at me. I wish every day could be like this.
P.S.: Be sure to read Amy's, Jay's and Jason's stories too. They were all virgins this year as well.
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.: posted by Vera
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My Burning Man pictures
All of my Burning Man pictures are now uploaded and labeled.
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.: posted by Vera
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Sol Henge
[image taken offline]
This is what the Sol System dance floor looked like on Saturday night. Photo by Jm.
Editor's Note: Here is another awesome picture of our dance floor (via Amy). Note the drawings people made on the dust-covered Stones.
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.: posted by Vera
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Opening an old wound
I got my nose pierced.
I had my nose pierced once before. I had gotten it done on January 17, 1994 on Melrose Avenue at the age of 17. I was very happy with my piercing. But in the summer of 1996 I started a retail job which didn't allow any piercings. I had to take my jewelry out while at work, and the day I worked my first eight hour shift, the hole in my nose closed up.
I have been missing my piercing ever since and have been wanting to get it done again. Yesterday I made the spontaneous decision that it was now time to do that, and within four hours of me making that decision, my nose was re-pierced. This time I got it done at Body Manipulations on 16th Street, and my friend Mason, who also has the left side of his nose pierced, was with me.
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.: posted by Vera
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My first Burning Man - The low points
- Discovering blisters on my feet.
- Losing my hoop with blinky lights.
- Being stuck in an uncomfortable social situation where I was the third wheel and had no interest whatsoever in interacting with the fourth wheel.
- Noticing somebody getting a blow job while leaned against an RV in our camp.
- Finding a cute pink apron in a port-a-potty, then picking it up to discover it had feces all over it.
- Hearing my campmate Lisa say "You look great!" and saying "Thank you!", then realizing that she wasn't talking to me, but to Jm who was standing behind me and wearing a hamster suit.
- After having biked all of my gear to Maryann's so that we could fire hoop after the burn on Saturday night, realizing that I was too exhausted and out of it to do so safely, then opting out.
- Looking forward all week long to Tipper's set at Sol System at 1am on Saturday night and then him not showing up. I almost started crying. (Luckily I caught his set at El Circo at 3am that same night, which kind of sort of made up for him not showing up at my camp.)
- After discovering that the last members of the Leave No Trace team had left on Sunday, finding myself and my RV buddies be forced to become the new Leave No Trace team on Monday and having to stay longer than everybody else and digging through trash for hours.
- Sitting in traffic for three hours without moving before even leaving the playa.
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.: posted by Vera
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My first Burning Man - Memorable moments
(in no particular order)
- I was interviewed by NY hooper Stefan for a documentary about hooping while hooping in the middle of the playa and holding my parasol. I never would have agreed to be interviewed in the real world.
- I went to my first Burning Man party on Monday night, a full moon party at the 13 Moon Tribe camp, and found the scene utterly fascinating. There was a guy wearing goggles and puffy pants. There was a very small person wearing raver pants and a dust mask. My friend Robin was there. There was a tall guy in long flowy clothes who sometimes wore a trippy tribal mask and sometimes didn't. One of my hooper friends showed up and she was topless. There was a guy wearing a witch mask with a huge mushroom-shaped hat attached to it. We danced and the wind was blowing through us. DJ Danny played a particularly punchy track that will be forever tattoed onto my brain.
- On Wednesday night I heard DJ Danny play the same track that blew me away on Monday, but this time on the Sol System dance floor. Dancing to that track again made me unbelievably happy.
- Diane and I massaged each other's scalps and washed each other's hair with No Rinse shampoo after two days of dust storms. I liked it not only for the physical relief but also for the interpersonal bond it sealed between us.
- Somebody took pictures of me dancing in my super green and super fuzzy outfit while the wind was making my clothes fly like flags. I hope I end up finding these pictures online.
- One morning after sunrise a cart with lots of tooth brushes and tooth paste pulled into the Sol System dance floor, and people started brushing their teeth while continuing to dance.
- I rode halfway across the playa on a carousel art car: I hung upside down off of one of the spinning carousel swings while the car was driving.
- When I walked back towards camp in my matching super girl shirt and panties after the carrussell ride, I noticed a woman take a picture of me who then said "It looked so cool with the dust storm behind you."
- When I was at Center Camp with Diane and Mason, waiting to get Chai teas, I asked the girl in front of us if she knew what time it was and she didn't, but then a guy right next to us turned around to reveal a watch strapped to his backpack. Then all of us introduced each other and I realized that the girl in front of me was Palinor, a hooper on our Bay Area Hoopers mailing list who I hadn't met before.
- I watched the early sunrise with Jason from my camp's chill dome, the Solarium, and then later we shadow danced with the longest shadows ever after the sun had just risen.
- When I took a closer look at the fire spinner on the Sol System dance floor, I realized that it was Isa, the women who led the fire hoop workshop I took recently.
- At the night of the burn I recognized out of hundreds of fire spinnners that the one in my direct field of vision was my friend Scott.
- When riding my bike around the playa in the morning sun after dancing all night, I ran into a campmate who had just arrived and who I had only talked to briefly once before and had a warm and glowing conversation with him.
- When biking up to a newly arrived tent asking somebody a question, a guy who I had seen at many parties before but never talked to exclaimed "I know you!" and then we finally met each other after having noticed each other silently in the real world.
- When trying to squeeze out of the COOR dome at the same time as Bob from Ohio, one of my favorite campmates, both of us wearing fuzzy ear hats, Bob said "Us animals need to stick together." When I asked "What kind of animals are we?", Bob said "Stuffed animals of course." Of course.
- Donovan re-attached my butterfly wings and made sure they were still operational despite me carrying the biggest backpack known to mankind.
- While hooping at Center Camp, my friend Robin said how beautiful people were here and that any negativity was left at home when people come to Burning Man, revealing only their true, beautiful selves. I thought that what Robin said was extremely true.
- I found myself really drawn to a friend when pecking good-bye one evening. The next time we saw each other, we jumped straight into making out.
- One day I got caught in a dust storm while riding my bike and, after accepting that my hair was ruined, I enjoyed the refreshing wind and dust blow around my scantily clad body.
- One night I worked the DJ booth monitor shift at Sol System and welcomed some of my favorite DJs before their sets.
- After dancing for a few hours with Maryann in the El Circo dome, Maryann asked "Do you have any interest in seeing the sunset?" and I said "Yes!" The two of us walked towards the pink sky, then rode a sea saw on wheels to the port-a-potties, then walked over to the Temple for the sunrise. On the walk back we were joined by a very young photographer who was crying and said "Beautiful sunrise" and then the three of us walked next to each other for a long time without talking and without it being the least bit awkward.
- One morning, a guy emerged from a port-a-potty and said to me "Hi fuzzy morning girl," then apologized for not being more creative. I ran into him again the next morning and he didn't remember me but gave me a wooden ring with the Burning Man symbol carved into it, amd then I took a picture of him.
- Another guy smiled at me while I was hooping that morning. I ran into him again at night when he looked like a furry white angel. He gave me a big furry angel hug and said "Hi magic hula hoop princess. I saw you this morning, and I watched you dance for a while just now. You are wonderful."
- One afternoon, somebody knocked on our RV door and said "Is Vera in there? Joe is here to see her." It was my roommate Joe who had decided to come to Burning Man for the first time only a week earlier.
- On the last night (Sunday) I fire hooped with Maryann and Stefan. I wasn't as scared as I thought I would be and I cannot WAIT to do it again.
- On the day of the big hoop performance at Center Camp I expressed to campmates that I was supposed to perform but wasn't sure if I was going to because I was intimated by some of the super star hoopers who were also to perform. Melvin told me that I was just as good as any other hooper and to get out there and do it. I felt totally reassured and performed fearlessly an hour later.
- On Saturday night, I ran into a campmate who had been ARRESTED earlier that day and he was now BACK and looked especially cute with eye liner, arm warmers and butterfly hair clips and was totally on fire behind the DJ decks that night.
- After having a dinner cooked by Maryann with her and her campmates, one of her campmates thanked me for having joined them. I have never been THANKED after having been INVITED to dinner.
- This one time I jumped on a trampoline while Maryann was cooking dinner.
- This one time I lied on the trampoline and looked at the stars while waiting for Maryann to get ready to go to the burn.
- On the night of the temple burn, somebody came up to me and told me that their friend would really like my rainbow headband and asked if I would trade it for a book of Burning Man poems. I said no and the guy complimented me on being so firm and decisive and gave me the book of Burning Man poems anyway.
- On teardown day most of us were super giddy from exhaustion and lack of sleep and giggling to tears at each and everything and had the most amazingly fun day despite the fact that it was Cracked Out Sunday.
- Also on teardown day, Diane and I realized at one point that we were both having independent conversations with OURSELVES while sitting right next to each other.
- I thought that the following conversation was the funniest in the world while sitting at Denny's in Reno on the way home:
Sam builds a pyramidal structure out of his knife, fork and spoon.
Sam: Look, it's a shade structure.
Sydnor, grabbing a napkin: It needs a tarp over it.
Diane: It also needs rebar.
Vera: Have you bent it yet?
(If you have never been to Burning Man, I don't expect you to find this funny or even understand it. And even if you have been to Burning Man, I don't expect you to find it funny. We did though.)
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.: posted by Vera
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Back from Burning Man
My RV buddies dropped me off at 4am this morning. A big long irridescent yellow skirt seemed to be one of the few things that were still clean at the end of the week, so I wore it during the ride home. When I climbed up the stairs with my last piece of stuff, the yellow skirt shuffled up the steps and I almost felt like I was floating. I then had this vision that I was a ghost, and that Vera had died and gone to heaven and was still roaming heaven, i.e. the playa, and that I was just her ghost, trying to pick up where she left off. After ten days of crazy dryness and overstimulation and lack of sleep and mental exhaustion, these are the kinds of visions that can come to you.
The first thing I did when I got home was wash my hands. The second thing I did was get a cold bottle of water out of the fridge. The third thing I did was look out the window at the Bay Bridge. I then realized that the life I am returning to is not so bad.
The full story will follow tomorrow.
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.: posted by Vera
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