Warmies by Ariel
I ordered some ridiculously cute warmies from Ariel, and now I'm featured in her Warmies in Action gallery! If you don't mind looking cute, you should get yourself a pair of warmies too!
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.: posted by Vera 
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Good news about my new eyes
I saw my regular eye doctor today for my "post-op" exam. I was really interested to see if I need glasses while my vision adjusts over the next couple of months. I do not. My vision is good enough to drive a car and fly a plane. It is not 20/20 but the current prescription is so small that the doctor would never prescribe glasses for it, he said. He was very pleased with the results. So am I. I walked out of his office and realized that I could read street signs two blocks away. I think I had some kind of psychological block going on that kept me from acknowledging how good my vision really was. All I knew was that with glasses my vision had always been 20/15, and it wasn't 20/15 now. But regardless of that, I REALLY FUCKING DON'T NEED GLASSES ANYMORE! And when I walked out of that office today, I really started to see things.
Even though my vision had been pretty damn bad from a very early age, the word miracle has been mentioned in conjunction with my eyes more than once:
- In 1989 when I first got hard contacts, my eye doctor said that it was a miracle that I was able to wear contacts with my level of astigmatism.
- In 1992 when I had an abrasion on my cornea, my eye doctor said that it was a miracle how fast my eye healed. The cut was virtually undetectable the next day.
- Today my eye doctor said that it was a miracle how good my vision was just 11 days after the surgery and how well the flaps had healed. He had a hard time finding the flaps as well.
P.S.: Amy mentioned that I should use the clear plastic eye shields I got the day of the surgery for a super hero costume such as Visual Vera. I was thinking that Vision Vera might be more appropriate. When I was in 7th grade I could often be seen wearing a white sweatshirt that was way too big for me and that said Vision Street Wear on it. These two guys at my school started calling me Vision Vera behind my back. Looks like I have come full circle.
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.: posted by Vera
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Feeling cute
I don't mean to flatter myself... but my friend Lura made me look so cute last night! She put ribbons in my hair!
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.: posted by Vera
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Parallel universes
Pasadena, CA, 1999
San Francisco, CA, 2004
These two pictures have a lot in common:
- I am celebrating a male friend's birthday.
- The male friend's birthday starts with an M.
- The birthday celebration is at Buca di Beppo.
- The male friend looks pretty happy.
- My cheeks are red.
- My mouth is open in a semi-awkward state.
- The male friend is wearing cool glasses.
- I am not wearing glasses.
There is one big difference between the two pictures: In one I am wearing contacts, and in the other one I am not!
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.: posted by Vera
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Eye cream, I adore Thee, I A O!
Today I put on eye cream for the first time since the surgery. What a glorious feeling. The skin around my eyes had been completely dried up and shriveled.
In other eye news, my far vision has not improved noticeably. In fact, my left eye especially is QUITE blurry right now. On Monday I have an appointment with a regular optometrist to see if I need temporary glasses while my vision adjusts over the next couple of months.
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.: posted by Vera
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SoMa
I just got my second neighborhoodie in the mail today. Oh, how soft it is. Oh, how well it fits. And just in time for SOMA Sessions this Friday!
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.: posted by Vera
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5 years ago
My friend Julia recently gave me this picture of myself that she took almost exactly five years ago, at the very end of 1998. I had not been aware of the existence of this picture. It's a very strange experience to see a picture of yourself that you hadn't seen before and that was taken a long time ago. I think that part of the way we remember our past selves is through pictures of ourselves. When a new piece of evidence is suddenly added to the five-year-old static memory bank, it potentially shines a whole new light on yourself. I, for one, did not remember ever wearing dramatic green eye make-up like that. But apparently I did. What I really like about this picture though is that you can see the glitter on my cheek. I do remember wearing that.
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.: posted by Vera
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Alumni
I did a bit of time traveling last night. I always love time traveling, especially when it has to do with rave culture. DNA had a very cool event last night: Class of '94 - 10 Year Raver Reunion. This is something I have been waiting for for a long time. I felt a little bit like a cheater though because although I graduated from high school in '94, I didn't start going to raves until later. But I don't think anybody really cared. There were quite a few much younger people among the dancers, who couldn't possibly have been going to raves in '94.
The flyer said "Retro raver wear encouraged" and that no records that came out after '94 were permitted on the decks that night. So there was a lot of techno techno techno, acid techno, bleepy techno, chirpy techno, stompy techno, techno with piano, housey techno, and - my favorite intermissions - breaky techno. There were Mickey Mouse gloves, lots of Adidas, phat pants, hats with ear flaps, and the way people were dancing - well, it was different. People really got out their old school moves for this one. The screen next to the dance floor displayed a slide show of retro rave flyers.
Starrie surely would have loved this event since she started raving in '94, and I wish she could have been there with me.
I found the scene utterly fascinating and I had a great time dancing, but I have to admit: I like today's electronic music better. Not only is there more variety in genres, but there is also more bass. Yesteryear's music was sorely lacking bass - or at least the kind of bass that I have come to know and love, and I found it harder to get inspired by the beats.
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.: posted by Vera
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I can see clearly now
I went in for my follow-up appointment today. I drove to the appointment. Without glasses. The doctor said my eyes were healing up well. I told her that I couldn't see things that were far away. She said that in the case of my particular prescription - farsightedness with astigmatism - that's "normal and desirable" the day after the procedure. 30% of patients with my prescription have to go in for touch-up surgery six months later. These 30% usually see perfectly, including things far away, the day after the procedure, but then the astigmatism gradually comes back, and they need a touch-up. Since my far vision is NOT perfect today, it is very unlikely that I will need a touch-up procedure. Instead, my far vision is expected to improve over the next couple of months. So far so good.
I also got this nifty little card today, to go with my driver's license.
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.: posted by Vera
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LASIK Basics
Note: I have several $300 off coupons for LASIK surgery by the same surgeon that did mine. Let me know if you would like one.
So today was the day I went under the knife. This morning, for the first time in about two weeks, I didn't wake up from a nightmare. I took that as a good sign.
Surprisingly, The Procedure was not the first thing that came to my mind when I woke up. I thought about work and how I had to finish this thing by noon today because... THAT'S WHEN I HAD AN APPOINTMENT FOR LASER EYE SURGERY!
At work I was very jittery and couldn't concentrate. I almost started crying multiple times because I was so scared. At 11:45 I went outside and caught a cab to the Pacific Vision Institute. There I was asked to take a seat for a moment. I sat there like a deer in the headlight, avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, shooting nervous glances all over the room. My heart was pounding.
After a while a girl walked over and handed me a small paper cup and said "Here is your Valium." The cup had an orange pill in it. The girl also handed me a bottle of water. I took the Valium. Not long after I started feeling much better. I felt dizzy, calm, and optimistic. My heartbeat slowed down considerably.
I received three rounds of dilating drops. The most I had ever had until this day was one. So now I was dizzy AND my vision was blurry. Things were starting to feel surreal already, which was a welcome change from the all too real anxiety and tension I had felt earlier.
The doctor measured my prescription to make sure it hadn't changed. Valium girl "cleaned" my eyes. She also put some local anaesthetic in them. I think. Then the doctor marked my eyes with a green pen. She said to Valium girl "She has a lot of astigmatism, so we need lots of markings." Okay then.
Then I was led to the "torture chamber" as they affectionately call it. There were three people in there, two men and one woman, whose faces I never really got to see because I was asked to keep my eyes closed while I was waiting for the doctor. I laid down and asked the two guys lots of questions with my eyes closed.
"Wait, so she is going to use an actual KNIFE to cut the flap?"
"What do you mean it's going to smell like something is burning?"
"So for 45 seconds I will actually be LEGALLY BLIND?"
It wasn't pretty from the sounds of it. The doctor walked in and said "Look at Vera, she's the calmest one we've had all day." - "Actually, no, she's really nervous." - "Oh, well, Silvia will hold her hand." There was a ratcheting sound. One of the guys said "Don't mind me, I'm just calibrating the laser." Okay then.
An apparatus was now hovering over my face. It had two black arrows with a tiny red blinking light inbetween them. I was told to focus on the tiny red light throughout the entire procedure. Silvia came over to hold my hand. My right eye was going to go first. My lid and eye lashes were taped back so that the eye would stay open. Then a clamp was put on it, also to force my eye to stay open. I didn't mind this.
And this is when The Procedure began. It was the most amazing and surreal thing I have ever experienced. Not in a bad way at all. It was positively wild. Like one of the guys had mentioned before, there was a short moment during which I couldn't see anything at all. I had expected that everything would go black. But it didn't. Instead, I saw white with sparkles. It was very pretty. I was glad that the doctor didn't announce "And now I'm going to slice your eye ball open." Instead she just did it. It didn't hurt at all but I knew she was doing it. It was as if there was a layer of liquid above me, and somebody was drawing a circle in it with a small stick. After that, my field of vision kept changing colors, focus, orientation, texture while the laser was doing its thing. The blinking red dot became really big, then it was gone, then it came back even bigger, then it rotated, then it rotated back, then it was small again and the black arrows came back into view. All the while the doctor kept saying
"Look riiight at the center of the red light. Look riiight at the center of the red light. Look riiight at the center of the red light."
She must have said this about a hundred times. It was soothing. She knew what she was doing, psychologically. There was another female voice - a machine - that said things like
"Patient. Vera. Fleischer. 35%. complete. 60%. complete. Procedure. complete."
When the doctor put the flap back on, it again had a swimming feel to it. I felt like I was under water looking up towards the surface, and there was some motion at the surface.
Then they did the same for my left eye.
After it was all done, I got to lie down on a black couch in a dark room and close my eyes for a few minutes. I was having some interesting visuals with my eyes closed. When the door opened and light came in, it felt like red ink being spilled over my eyes. When I opened my eyes, there were no more visuals.
 The doctor took me to another room and looked into each of my eyes up close. She said "Beautiful." Then clear plastic shields were put over my eyes, and I had to keep my eyes closed while Valium girl recited post-operative instructions for the next week. She also put a pair of black plastic sun glasses over the shields.
Dressed in my cool new eye wear I walked back into the lobby. I saw my dear coworker Toshi who was already waiting to drive me home. I waved at him. I knew my vision couldn't be all that bad if I was able to recognize Toshi!
I kept my eyes closed most of the way home, not only because I was told to but also because my eyes were still very sensitive to light from the dilation.
At home I laid in bed with my clear plastic shields, listened to Orbital and Future Sound of London, and kept my eyes closed for about four hours, as instructed. Whenever I opened my eyes for a few seconds, I could tell that my vision was drastically better than before the surgery. I was starting to get excited.
At 6:30pm I was allowed to take the plastic shields off and do whatever I want, EXCEPT touch my eyes, put on make-up, or get water in my eyes. So I started playing on the computer, which brings us to right now. I can see everything on the computer perfectly. It is just as good as before WITH GLASSES. It is much better than before with contacts. Things that are more than about six feet away are still blurry. I'm not too worried about that FOR NOW since I am not expected to have perfect vision until tomorrow morning.
What a surreal and amazing day it's been. I'm proud of myself. I feel great.
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.: posted by Vera
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Unexpressed request
I just went through some of my old work email from my last job. From the Drafts folder:
This message has not been sent.
Subject: raise
Hi Charlie,
I am such a chicken.
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.: posted by Vera
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Eye am scared
Only four days until my LASIK procedure. There is no turning back now. I am going to have my eye balls sliced in half with a laser and then put back together, all in hopes of never needing glasses again.
Sometimes I think that I must be completely crazy. Other times I think that this might turn out to be the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I will admit that I am worried. There is a part of me that is fearful that I am paying a shitload of money only to have my life ruined. To have strange visuals for the rest of my life. To make my vision worse rather than better. To have dry, itchy eyes for the rest of my life. To end up with 19/20 vision still needing glasses because I am so spoiled by my current flawless vision with the help of very strong glasses. To - can we think the unthinkable? - go blind.
But then I think about market forces, especially the market force of the lawsuit. The mere existence of that market force makes me feel confident that the woman who will slice my eye balls open on Thursday will be doing a damn fine job at it. She would not be willing to perform this procedure on me if she wasn't extremely confident that the outcome will be successful. It is in her best interest to create a satisfied customer. If she ruins my vision, she also ruins her career. And I am not saying that I am consoled by the mere fact that I can sue her if something goes wrong. My consolation is the fact that she is aware of the fact that I can sue her.
I have faith in the market. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself when I wake up screaming because somebody is poking around in my eyes.
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.: posted by Vera
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Excused absence
From a work email this morning:
Your Absence Report has been approved by your manager.
Report Number: 30371
Type: Vacation
Dates: 08/30/2004 - 09/03/2004
Total Number of Days Off: 5
What does this mean? Burning Man 2004, here I come!!!
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.: posted by Vera
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Only in San Francisco, Part II
I just saw a license plate that said "CTRL Z."
(Part I)
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.: posted by Vera
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2003 recap
2003 was a great year for me, possibly the best ever. I give full credit to the fact that I live in San Francisco, a city teeming with brilliant, beautiful, kind and creative people.
Let's see what went down, shall we?
3/11: I started working for Macromedia.
3/26 - 3/28: I went to Flash Forward and had a blast.
4/4: I bought my dream car.
4/22: The boy broke up with me. I was in disarray at first, but then I started realizing what a huge favor he had done me.
4/26: I started hooping at Min Jung's party.
6/14-6/15: I went to Moontribe.
6/21: I moved to Potrero Hill.
8/1-8/3: I went to the FnF campout and met more people in two days than I had in the last six months.
8/21-8/22: I went to the FlashKit conference. Another exhilarating experience.
9/3: My landlady wrecked my car. Eh, shit happens.
9/18-10/6: My sister was here for the first time EVER, and we had a GREAT time.
11/20-11/26: I went to Seattle.
12/7-12/17: I went to Europe. It was great because I was in a great mood.
12/31: Went to Sea of Dreams. Saw good costumes. Danced to good Breaks. Ended the year on a good note.
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.: posted by Vera
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Bianca's pictures
As some of you know, my sister visited me from Germany a few months ago. While she was here, she shot about five rolls of film. She is very talented and took some amazing pictures of the city, other places, my friends, etc. I have put together most of them in an online album.
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.: posted by Vera
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verafleischer.com
I just registered the most egocentric of all domains: verafleischer.com. I am not sure what I am going to do with it yet. I will have to decide how I am going to divide up my web presence. All I know for now is that I registered the domain with 1and1.com for $5.99, and the hosting is FREE for three years! Let Grant tell you more.
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.: posted by Vera
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