I am writing this post from a cheap and popular internet cafe also known as A Friend's House in Culver City.
I learned a few things from Los Angeles today that I hadn't noticed before:
Somewhere in Hollywood there are numbered streets, such as 1st Street. I thought they only had those downtown.
When you walk into Fred Segal's on Melrose Avenue with glasses and a beanie and no makeup on, people will look at you very condescendingly.
When you walk into a store and the salesperson says "You look so cute!" and you reply "I'm here to get even cuter", she will say "Yeah, me too. It's a daily struggle. I'm constantly working on that. I need to get cuter. I..." And she will still talk about this long after you have left the store.
If your waitress looks a lot like Lucy Liu but with more zits, there is a good chance that she will forget the salad you ordered.
There are rainbows in Los Angeles.
As soon as you enter Los Angeles, your boyfriend's style of driving will have an epileptic seizure that lasts about 24 hours.
Paula Abdul uses a cell phone the size of a skateboard.
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.: posted by Vera 
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Something changed yesterday. I successfully made a Thanksgiving dinner for four people. Three new "B" verbs have entered my vocabulary: baste, blanch, and brine. There are now a food thermometer, a baster and a masher in my kitchen drawer and they are planning to stay. All of these things are cooking up matriarchal feelings in me. Much like a 45-year-old mother of three sometimes looks at a 20-year-old know-it-all and thinks or even says out loud "What do you know? I have given birth to a child!", I could now see myself thinking or even saying out loud to somebody, anybody really, "What do you know? I have cooked a Thanksgiving turkey! And then I gave it up for adoption!"
And here are the things I would like to give thanks for today:
Last night's carrot soup
That everybody said they really liked all the food and that the turkey was really juicy, even if they lied
All the things on my "Items I'm Watching" list on Ebay
That I get to work in my pyjamas everyday
My red pyjama pants
That I have the next three days off and I am going to spend them in several lovely California cities, namely Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, and of course San Francisco
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.: posted by Vera
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Baubles
 After my last post, a lot of my imaginary readers emailed me and asked what in the world that weird thing on the table is. I don't like to keep my imaginary readers in the dark, so here is a closer look at the weird thing on the table. It's kind of a baublicious christmas decoration meets alien infatuation meets blobjectivity type thing. It reminds me a lot of something I made from a styrofoam semisphere spraypainted silver, some wire and a couple of glittery balls a few years ago. Of course I don't expect anyone to share or even understand my fondness of objects with two or more antennae. Although my boyfriend did agree that we had to have this one.
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.: posted by Vera
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Apartment update: We finally picked up a table and some chairs. Just in time for the big feast tomorrow.
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.: posted by Vera
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 Today is my brother's birthday. He is 23 today. Happy Birthday, Stefan! I just talked to him on the phone and he is getting ready to get drunk out of his mind with his friends. He likes the Atomic Babies CD I sent him. Of course he does because he requested it. Anyway, my brother is the best little brother anyone could ever want. He likes to get wasted. He loves the number 7. He likes to draw pictures and give them to girls for their birthdays. He loves to organize big all night network gaming sessions. He designed the website for a little tea shop in our hometown. In short, he totally rocks, or as he would say "er rockt Dir den Arsch weg."
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.: posted by Vera
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Dear HotJobs,
Why are you sending me HotJobs Search Agent Results? More importantly, why are you sending me HotJobs Search Agents Results that include Staff Accountant positions in Schaumburg, Illinois and Dockworker positions in Orlando, Florida? What did I do to deserve this? I know I didn't sign up for such comprehensive HotJobs Search Agent Results. First of all, I am not really looking for a job right now. Secondly, what would I do with a Staff Accountant position? And thirdly, what the hell would I do with a Staff Accountant position in Schaumburg, Illinois? You seem to think that I am interested in ANY open position ANYWHERE in this country. Please don't.
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.: posted by Vera
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Okay, Joost, you were right. I can't sit still anymore now. There were TWO MORE 3+ magnitude earthquakes in the Bay Area today. That makes a total of five earthquakes of magnitude 3 and higher in the last 72 hours. I didn't feel any of them but the fact that as of yesterday there was officially an increase in seismic activity makes me feel a little bit uneasy.
I would also like to take this opportunity to talk about the 6.7 earthquake I was priviledged to experience live in 1994. Remember that one? Northridge, California, January 17, 1994, 4:30 am. I was 17 years old and living in Pasadena as an exchange student at the time. The night the earthquake happened I was visiting another German exchange student, Ariane, in Redondo Beach. The earthquake woke me up and I made my way to the door frame. I thought "This must be an earthquake." Then I thought "Depending on how strong it is, I may or may not survive this." I saw Ariane standing in another door frame in the same hallway but I think we ended up under the same door frame, holding on to each other for dear life. It must have looked so cute, two German exchange students scared shitless by their first earthquake. Neither of us were hurt though.
The day before, I had gotten my nose pierced on Melrose Avenue. I thought that maybe the earthquake was my punishment. I also thought that this is what I get for being picked to be an exchange student in the coolest U.S. state. It was just too good to be true. I think the earthquake even, for a limited time only, convinced me that Germany was where I belonged because Germany doesn't have earthquakes.
My parents didn't call me that day because they are always operating under the motto that if something bad happens, we will find out soon enough. They heard about the Northridge earthquake in the news but they didn't worry because they just assumed that if something had happened to me, somebody would have contacted them. I later wrote them a letter saying sarcastically "It's good to know you guys weren't worried at all while your daughter was over here in earthquake country about to die a virgin."
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.: posted by Vera
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So today I picked up my turkey from Andronico’s. This is the first time I have ever owned a turkey. I feel bad because it’s a dead bird and all, and I am not going to eat any of it, but I wanted my boyfriend, who I like a lot and who still sometimes eats meat, to have a turkey for Thanksgiving. So yeah, you could say that I’m not the most militant of the vegetarian species. Oh, and yes, it’s a very small turkey. It’s only about the size of a small human child.
Here is the menu that will be served at Vera’s Thanksgiving joint this Thursday because I know that you are just dying for this information:
Carrot soup
Handmashed mashed potatoes
Vegetarian gravy
Candied sweet potatoes
Marinated vegetables
Champagne-soaked turkey
You may notice that there is no dessert on the menu. That’s because I can only do so much. I’m already making SIX dishes. That’s about six times as many dishes as I have ever made in one day. I am not going to stress myself out with a motherfucking pie on top of everything else.
You may also notice that there is no cranberry sauce on the menu. That’s because
1) cranberries make me cringe.
2) I think cranberry sauce is a stupid American tradition.
So yeah, the cranberry sauce hype stops with me.
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.: posted by Vera
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When I am at Aardvarks I always know who is from out of town. They are always trying on the wackiest hats and wigs. I know this because I used to be one of them.
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.: posted by Vera
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I don't know about you but I care deeply about the design on my roll of paper towels. It can't be just any design. I would never use a roll of paper towels that has a house on it and says Home Sweet Home. I also couldn't do one that has any sort of harvest or other rustic scene on it. Every time I'm at the store to buy paper towels, I look at every roll of paper towels there to make sure I end up with the one that has unambiguously the cutest design. Today I found one with a dragonfly design. That made the decision very easy. I wish it was always that easy.
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.: posted by Vera
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For a while I had been wondering what "growing old gracefully" means. I had heard it thrown into conversations before, and from the context I could never quite induce what it meant. I was always left thinking "Well, which is it? Letting nature take its course while smiling with grace, or fighting nature with tucks, pulls, and injections so as to preserve grace?" Well, my friends, my question has been answered. Serendipitously by a Popular Women's Magazine® at the hair salon the other day. Popular Women's Magazine® had one of those features in which they juxtapose a series of things that, in their expert opinion, are "in" or "out" or "hot" or "not." Because, you know, it's Popular Women's Magazine®'s job to show you that you are waaay, way behind by putting into the "out" column something that you are just getting into. That's why in 2000 they were telling you that yoga and super low jeans were already on their way "out." Because, you know, they knew that you were just getting into yoga and super low jeans.
But anyway.
In this issue, they had Botox on one side. And right next to it on the other side it said growing old gracefully. So there. They did not contrast growing old gracefully with embracing your fine lines. No. So now I know.
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.: posted by Vera
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He passed
MY BOYFRIEND PASSED THE CALIFORNIA BAR EXAM!
Whoopies! It's been a long time since he took it, and the wait is finally over. Time for champagne!
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.: posted by Vera
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I saw a laptop DJ performance last night. It rocked. It was at this little club on Folsom Street that I had never heard of. Our friend Josh aka Zero K was supposed to perform that night. We got there and it was very empty and Seraphim was stimulating our ears with some awesome pounding jungle. Josh was nowhere to be seen. I immediately started bouncing because I hadn't eyewitnessed a jungle set in over a month. Right in front of Seraphim was the dance floor and it was lined with these red squishy cubes that you could sit on. Cubism rocks. After Seraphim, this cute guy with glasses took over the junglosphere. His glasses rocked. I would have liked to stay on the cubes and check out his set but it was at this moment that we realized there was an upstairs area! So we went upstairs and what do you know, Zero K was up there with his laptop and all of his sonic gadgets already set up, ready to do his thing. And when he does his thing it's a good thing. His gadgets add so much reverberation to the music that each performance is a unique sensory experience. I have said this before and will probably say it again.
I think laptop shows are the future of DJ'ing. I have a dream that one day DJ's won't have to be broke anymore because they can bring their computer instead of their record bag to the gig. Everybody has a computer anyway. Not everybody has a lot of records. Vinyl is so damn expensive. Digitized "spinning" would open up the world of DJ'ing to amateurs who aren't into it as much as ardent record collectors, but it would also help prevent the truly dedicated from starving. And that would rock.
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.: posted by Vera
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I am a lucky lucky girl! This is what the lucky email said:
"Governor Warner announced today that he is granting state employees an additional half day of paid leave to begin the Thanksgiving holiday at 1:00 on Wednesday, November 27th."
And now an imaginary dialogue with you, the reader, to clarify a few things:
But I thought you live in California?
Yes, I do.
But isn't Governor Warner the governor of Virginia?
Yes, he is.
So why are you getting off half of the day before Thanksgiving?
Because I used to live in Virginia and my employer for which I now telecommute is still in Virginia. Get it straight.
Okay, sorry. You are a lucky lucky girl.
Quod erat demonstrandum.
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.: posted by Vera
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So my boyfriend is addicted to the word proposition. At first I thought it was funny and cute but now I am about ready to send him to lexical rehab. It all started when our first San Francisco landlady casually mentioned to him that San Francisco realty is "a losing proposition." I wasn't there but he told me about it. Ever since then he has used the word proposition at least once in every conversation he is a part of. Everything is now "a [something] proposition." I quoted him once in this blog. That's when I still thought it was funny and cute. It has gotten a lot worse since then. He constantly uses the word proposition when talking to me, he uses it on the phone, he uses it in work meetings, he uses it when he talks in his sleep, he uses it with the barista at Starbucks, he uses it with the cashier at the grocery store, he uses it when babytalking to a toddler or a dog, he uses it to describe each and every situation there is in this world. It is getting completely out of hand. We recently learned that some friends of ours are getting married in Connecticut this month, and his reaction was "I wonder how Seth did the marriage proposition." Marriage proposition! I have never heard the word proposition used that way. It's a marriage proposal where I come from, thank you. But this is what happens when somebody is addicted to a word.
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.: posted by Vera
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There is this little club on Haight Street that I really like to go to lately. It's called Galaxy Club. It's usually very dark and rather empty in there. The DJ's always play the best House music when I am there. It's the dreamiest, chirpiest and thumpiest House ever. My boyfriend and I like to sit by the bar, enjoy the music, have a drink or two and wonder why there aren't more people around us. Not that we really care. It really is a great spot to relax for an hour or so after a stressful day. Or after an unstressful day. Last night they even had a wall of projected everchanging fantasy spacescapes and landscapes.
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.: posted by Vera
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I just saw a guy wearing a jeans jacket that had a Pantera patch on it. I didn't think people still wore Pantera on their bodies. I still don't think they do.
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.: posted by Vera
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Messes
Have you ever emptied an entire bag of frozen peas on the kitchen floor? I just did. At least they are not as messy and complicated to clean up as, say, canned beans. Or a glass of Nutella that broke when it hit the floor. No, you just sweep up those crystallized green balls and go on with your life. And for about a minute, the kitchen floor was color-coordinated with the rest of the kitchen.
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.: posted by Vera
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This weekend it was a double feature of Dinner with Another Couple. Friday night we went to a Cambodian restaurant with Another Couple, where we had the best spicy broccoli and the best crispy tofu. Saturday night we had tapas and drinks at a Peruvian restaurant with a different Another Couple, where we had the best potatoes with feta cheese sauce. One of the nights out was good clean fun while the other was not so clean and not so fun because the person with the overdeveloped Super Ego and the person with the overdeveloped Id kept butting heads, and that's all the detail I'm going to go into. So the double feature was kind of like a dichotomy of fun and hell.
But everything is fine and dandy again tonight because I am making Spaghetti with a Kick and a copy of Insomnia is waiting on the coffee table, and no Other Couple is invited.
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.: posted by Vera
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Don't you love it when mid-conversation somebody says to you "You bring up a good point." I do. I think everybody would have to love that. I think that when that happens, everybody leans back and inside their head smirks self-righteously and inside their head strokes their imaginary chin a couple of times and thinks "I feel smart right this second. This second, I make a lot of sense out of this confusing wasteland of an existence."
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.: posted by Vera
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Based on a string of recent posts and on past experience, I have to conclude that the more errands I run during the day, the more fodder for blogging I have. You'd think that wild house parties, boat cruises, stalkers, trips to Australia, marriage proposals, or emails from John Stamos would give me fodder. But no. For me it's errands. Oh wait. Oh yeah. Out of that list, errands are the only things that have happened to me recently. Or ever.
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.: posted by Vera
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For a second at Jamba Juice today I thought that the smoothie artist called me Schmera instead of Vera. That would have been so cool if she had because that's what my supercute friend Schmonica has been calling me since, oh, about 1996.
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.: posted by Vera
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I realized what is so great about Kelly Osbourne: She is chubby! Not only does she look a lot, and I mean a lot, like my long-time friend Beke who was always a little bit chubby and felt ugly because of her rosy round cheeks and full lips, but Kelly also "promotes a healthy body image," quoting Ross from last night's episode of Friends although he wasn't talking about Kelly Osbourne. What a great role model. I wish there had been someone like her when Beke and I were self-deprecating teenagers.
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.: posted by Vera
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I said toodles to my daily mug of coffee a few months ago but this morning I had a gingerbread latte because I remembered from last year how yummy they were. The Starbucks baristas were wearing wings and glitter today, to ring in the Christmas season perhaps? Or maybe it was just an expression of "This is San Francisco. I can wear wings and glitter to work if I want to." But that's beside the point. What is epicentral to the point is that the latte has got me completely riled up, I have been about as useful and productive as a 7-year-old who forgot to take her Ritalin the day before Disneyland. Am I turning into my mom? She won't go near caffeine because she completely freaks if she accidentally does.
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.: posted by Vera
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Look at me, I'm on flashcomponents.net! It's really not a big deal because anybody can build and submit a component, but I am giddy with excitement.
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.: posted by Vera
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I dreamt about a well-known Flash developer last night: Jessica Speigel. We were hanging out. My friend Philipp Kurney who I haven't seen in 7 or 8 years was there too. Philipp and I started playing ping pong. There were a couple of more people there but I don't remember who they were. I do remember checking out Jessica's attire. She was dressed in somewhat preppy clothes - loafers, a striped collared shirt, slacks - but her hair was messy and black with a bluish glow. She was applying a two-toned pink lipstick. It was a light pink on one side for the lower lip and a darker pink on the other side for the upper lip. It was a Hello Kitty lipstick. Jessica said "This is one of four Hello Kitty lipsticks I own." While still in my dream, I went to Sephora.com to look for those Hello Kitty lipsticks.
I love it when in my dreams I get to hang out with somebody I have never met in person. I did that with Winona Ryder once, and it rocked.
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.: posted by Vera
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Does the sun always rise in the exact same spot relative to a fixed position on Earth? As the time of sunrise changes over the year, does its perceived location change too? I feel like "my" sunrise has moved to the right since a month ago. Is this something that happens as winter nears? I hope this isn't another "The sun is a star? Oh yeeaaah..." moments for me. Could somebody please school me?
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.: posted by Vera
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Dear Chevy's Fresh Mex,
I had the world's worst burrito today. If I ever dine at your premises again, which I probably won't, and if I ever order the Fresh Veggie Burrito again, which I probably especially will not, please make sure that
a) the tortilla is fresh.
b) the fresh veggies are fresh.
c) the vegetables are chopped more conscientiously. I'd prefer not to have whole zucchinis in my burrito. Who wouldn't? Serving any piece of "chopped" vegetable that is larger than an inch in diameter is insensitive and rude. And lazy.
d) the burrito is not 80% black beans. A burrito shouldn't be 80% anything. Try a little diversity.
Thanks.
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.: posted by Vera
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 So I have been working on this personal project. It combines two passions of mine: Flash and blogging. I think I am finally ready to show off the first prototype. It's a Flash MX Blog Viewer component. I could also call it an RSS Reader component. It reads the RSS feed of a syndicated blog and displays it in Flash. There have been other Flash-based blogs but I think mine is the first to support images along with text. To demonstrate, I'm including a nice image in this entry. Hopefully we will all be able to recognize it in the Flash version. The text doesn't wrap around an image right now. This is something that I might add in the future, but for now, the blog component is processor-intensive enough. Also, the dates are only estimates based on the assumption that a blog will have an average of one post per day. Thanks, Geoff, for your help on that!
This Flash blog project is my new baby. I have been working on it day and night for about two weeks. It's nowhere near done. I plan on adding two more image features: support for alt messages/bubbles and using an image as a hyperlink. I also want to be able to read and display the blog archives. This might be difficult because I will have to figure out somehow how many archive files have been saved for the blog. Lastly, when all the kinks have been ironed out, I plan on submitting the component to a place like flashcomponents.net so that other people can use it for their own blog. If they want to.
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.: posted by Vera
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Somebody said that it was going to rain all weekend. Then I said to them Fuck you. And then they said Fuck you. And then I said No, fuck you. And then they said No, fuck you, and then I said No, FUCK you. And then they said No, FUCK you. And then I thought about what I was going to say next.
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.: posted by Vera
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Today is my youngest cousin's 14th birthday. Happy Birthday, Johannes! How exciting. I wish I was turning 14 today.
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.: posted by Vera
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Maxi
Inspired by my thoughts about Angela the other day, I took to doing Google searches for all kinds of other characters I went to school with a long time ago. It didn't bear much fruit. The only person I could find anything on was Maxi. I wrote about her a little while ago. Go here to find out a little bit about what she has been up to. She is the one at the bottom in the picture, the one whose face is aligned with yours. She looks exactly the same as she did ten years ago. From what I can tell, she is an industrial designer and recently participated in an exhibit in Bremen, Germany.
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.: posted by Vera
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Oh my God, I'm so psyched! A little over two years ago I bought this fabulous book. In fact, I bought two copies because I liked it so much. It's about this grotesquely cute doll named Blythe that was first conveived in the 1970's but that didn't become very popular among children because of its strangely big head and its strangely small body. Photographer Gina Garan in 2000 brought Blythe back to live by publishing a book full of photographs of her own Blythe doll. It's one of my favorite picture books ever. I LOVE grotesque cuteness. Like Mark Ryden's art. Today I found a website that has all sorts of Blythe pictures, including a whole bunch that aren't in the book! This is better than Christmas.
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.: posted by Vera
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Last night I saw a commercial where three twenty-something guys are driving in a car, one driving, one shotgun, one in the backseat. One of them says "You know how they have 'hair color' on your driver's license? What if somebody is, like, completely bald? What do they put then?" The three guys proceed to discuss this. This is a perfect example of a good concept gone bad. There have been several commercials recently where twenty-somethings discuss nothingness, and it can be funny and endearing. A Starburst commercial comes to mind. (To refresh your memory: Click here, go to Starbust® TV and watch Juicy Spot Pink.) This new breed of existentialists can be fun to watch. But the hair-color-on-driver's-license commercial just didn't do it for me. It didn't even make me smile. I can't even tell you why exactly. Maybe they were bad actors. Maybe it hurts me to poke fun at the bald. Maybe I was in an irritable mood.
That being said I was *really* glad it wasn't a Volkswagen commercial. It was a Honda commercial. Whew.
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.: posted by Vera
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Angela
Have you ever wanted to ask somebody from your past a question? You were wondering then and you are still sometimes wondering now? I have. I want to ask Angela Kock a question. There, I put her full name so that in case she ever does a vanity search for her own name, this site will come up. Angela and I had classes together from 5th through 11th grade. She was the smartest in our class. She always got the most A's and was just unrelenting in her studying. One time she got an A on a Latin test and she started crying because it wasn't an A+. That's how hard she was on herself. Angela also had a pony but that's another story...
The incident that I want to ask Angela about took place in 8th grade Chemistry. 8th grade is when they first teach you about atoms and electrons in Germany. At least in 1989 in North Rhine-Westphalia they did. So the teacher, Herr Tondorf, is talking to us about how an atom is never quite happy unless it has a certain number of electrons circling around it. Some atoms have extra electrons that they would like to donate and some atoms are lacking some electrons that they would like to pick up somewhere. So if Atom A wants to get rid of two electrons and Atom B is short two electrons, they can form a bond and both be happy. I am sorry if you already know all of this but I am just trying to recreate the meager knowledge our class had on this day. So then Herr Tondorf asks us "What do you think would happen if two atoms would really like to form a bond together and Atom A has the two electrons that Atom B is looking for, but Atom A is really happiest if it keeps those two electrons for itself?" Silence in the classroom. Angela looks around. Herr Tondorf says "What if both atoms really want those two electrons but they also want to form a bond together?" Angela raises her hand. The rest of the class looks at her incredulously. How can she possibly know that? Herr Tondorf says "Yes, Angela." Angela says "I think that the two electrons would make an 8 around both of the atoms so that the two atoms can share the two electrons, and each atom would think that the electrons are actually theirs because they are circling around them so very fast." Herr Tondorf smiles and says "That's exactly what happens. Thanks, Angela." I thought no flucking way.
What I would like to ask Angela is this: Did you read ahead in the book? We weren't supposed to do that but I think she did. To this day I believe that there is no way she could have figured that out on her own, no matter how smart she was. She MUST have had this information before coming to class that day. If I ever see or talk to her again, I am going to ask her the question. I really want her to remember that day in Chemistry class and to admit "Yes. I did know that that is what happens according to the science of Chemistry. I did not conceive it in my head that day."
Editor's Note: I found a picture of Angela online.
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.: posted by Vera
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I just heard the most unbelievable piece of news since O.J. Simpson walked: At a rave in Racine, Wisconsin on Saturday 441 people were ticketed for $968 each for being "patrons of a disorderly house with controlled substances." Only three people were arrested for actual drug charges. Imagine you're at a party, dancing. Maybe you're on drugs, maybe you're not. Maybe you're drunk, maybe you're not. Suddenly you're issued a $968 ticket for being at a party whose organizers had a legally obtained permit. This is insane. Read some of the reactions by people who were there here. Check out DJ I.P.X.'s account, for instance:
Now for my quick shit on what happened to me.
I had just finished my set and was walking to the bathroom,
I was relieving myself when someone came in yelling.
I didn't know what to think at first, I didn't know what the hell was going on.
I thought someone was joking around and play fighting or something.
He didn't identify himself as a police officer.
He just put a gun to the back of my head and told me to get on the fucking ground.
Right next to a big pile of puke, which I sat next to for the next half hour.
Now being held at gun point for no fucking reason was horrible.
I don't care if he was a police officer, nothing in my mind warranted him to pull his gun.
What if his safety was off, and he slipped, or some raver ran into the bathroom and knocked into him.
A nice shot in the head for me....
And this is the second time I have had a gun to my head for being at a event.
I don't know what else to say, except I am angry.
I am a single father of one and trying to make a living.
And I think I could have easily lost my life for absolutely nothing.
Those cops are WHACK. I really don't think any of those tickets will be paid.
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.: posted by Vera
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I love stand-up comedy. I think it's the best form of entertainment. One body and a mic. It makes me laugh the hardest. Today I saw the movie Comedian. I highly recommend it. Not only will you see and hear some really good new comedic material, but you will also catch a very personal and honest glimpse into the daily struggles of a comedian. You will see Jerry Seinfeld giving and receiving advice. You will see him pouncing on the beach with his wife and daughter. You will see him embarrass himself and be mean to fans. You will eavesdrop into serious conversations between Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld and rising comedian Orny Adams, and Jerry Seinfeld and Colin Quinn. You will even see Jay Leno discuss his fears of one day ending up a custodian (the custodian syndrome must be the male version of the bag lady syndrome I recall having when I was 20 years old and a recent immigrant to the U.S.?).
Jerry Seinfeld totally rocks your socks off. Have you seen his latest book? He is so juvenile. Here are some great quotes from the movie (not verbatim):
Yeah, I was sort of funny in Junior High. But then again, wasn't everybody funny in Junior High? I remember everybody being very funny in Junior High; then they all got jobs.
What's with the requesting information that we already have? When I'm driving in my car and I drive by a great big office building, I look over at the reflective windows to verify that it is me that's driving my car. This is information I already have! I wonder what I would do if I looked over and saw a small Korean woman driving my car. I would probably have to stop the car. Then I would probably walk over to the reflection, take a close look and say "I stand corrected! I'm a small Korean woman. Who needs a manicure?"
Orny Adams was great, too. I had never heard of him until today, but I can't wait to catch his act somewhere. He makes fun of people on cell phones who think they are so cool, especially the ones who are still using the first model of cell phone that ever came out. To demonstrate this, he picks up a shoe or a stool and swings it up to his ear. ...maybe you had to be there. I love stand-up comedy.
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.: posted by Vera
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Like every city, the skyline of San Francisco has a lot of billboards. One recurring one is an ad for SBC Yahoo! internet service that says INTERNET that LOGS on to YOU. That's about right, SBC Yahoo! You log on to me whenever you feel like it. I can't log on to you whenever I feel like that because you might not feel like it. It is always at your discretion whether I am connected to the internet or not. I am only online if you have decided to log on to me. Thanks for coming clean about that on your billboard. Truth in advertising is the way to go.
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.: posted by Vera
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My boyfriend and I had an important discussion last night.
Me: [ talks about something that happened a while ago ]
A: How did you know?
Me: I'm a bug. I know things.
A: But bugs don't really know anything.
Me: Why not? They have antennas to pick up frequencies.
A: They may sense a lot of stuff in the moment, but they don't know anything.
Me:
A: Think about it. It's not like bugs are these great decision makers.
Me: Maybe you're right.
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.: posted by Vera
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 To me, Halloween isn't about getting wasted or getting candy or getting laid or scaring children or scary movies. To me, Halloween is about getting dressed up and having my picture taken by strangers and with strangers. That's what I did last night in the Castro. It was so fun. Rainbow Brite had her own little red carpet, and everybody wanted to take her picture and for her to wave at them. This is what Rainbow Brite lives for, you know. Many people recognized her, and when they did they shouted out "Rainbow BRITE!" That's exactly how they said it. Rainbow BRITE! Here is a conversation Rainbow Brite had with Tigger:
T: You're Rainbow Brite! I know, like, so many girls who would, like, go totally ballistic if they ran into you.
RB: Oh yeah? Where are they? I want them to take pictures of me.
T: I don't know... They're just all these raver girls I know.
RB: Awww. Raver girls.
T: They would probably start crying if they saw you. They're totally in love with Rainbow Brite.
RB: I'm going to go to a rave dressed like this next.
T: You should.
RB: Cool.
T: Just don't go to a massive because then so many people will stop you and want to talk to you and take pictures of you that you won't get anything done.
RB: Thanks for the heads up, Tigger. Now let's have our picture taken together.
Rainbow Brite also ran into her friends Lala Orange and Shy Violet. They were adorable. But unfortunately she was so busy asking them where Tickled Pink and the rest of the Color Kids crew were that she forgot to get a picture of them. Rats!
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.: posted by Vera
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